OTTER's CalorieKing blog
Wednesday, Sep 24 2008 - A little glum this evening...
View OTTER's food & exercise for this day
Picture first: self-portrait on the gangway to our city-ship, home for the week of our Alaska cruise :-)
Work was non-stop from the time I got in the elevator 15 minutes early until the time I left 20 minutes late. No lunch break either - used the time to preview some new training materials.
Total of about 5 hours today doing training, which means my voice was very tired tonight. Home to a husband who was gracious in making us a sumptious and healthful dinner, but who won't wear his hearing aides. I stopped trying to converse. And we have our young nephew visiting, the 2.75 year old, who won't speak unless he is demaning something, and will scream if he doesn't get what he demands. So different from the nieces I've enjoyed!
Some concerning news from middle-sister over weekend. She's been living with cancer since 2004, living admirably and (at least it looks like it from the outside) enjoyably. Word had been that as long as cancer didn't spread to her organs, she may be able to live a very long time with the cancer. Last week middle-sister started chemo treatment for cancer that has spread to her liver. No news about prognosis. Sister herself sounds glum but determined to live as well with this cancer as she has with the other. Gosh she's my hero (or, as I prefer SHE-ro). But still I wish she didn't have to live with cancer at all. I talk to God and pray a lot. And at a trusted friend's suggestion, I am taking time to meditate on what I feel, what I want, and what this all means to me. Middle-sister lives 3K miles away from me. It can feel hard to be so far away.
Today I keep thinking of her cancer as a house. And her soul (her Self) lives in that house with an unwanted roommate-cancer. (Or maybe it is a mobile home or house boat, since she herself is mobile.) At any rate, in some "homes" the unwanted roommate is summarily evicted with chemo or radiation or some combination of both. In some homes, the roomie is determined and it takes every ounce of effort to evict the little bugger. But in some homes, the unwanted roomie gets the upper hand. No amount of chemo, radiation, alternative therapies, healthy diets, Yoga classes, positive visualization, prayer, or winning lottery tickets can make the roomie leave. In fact, the roomie gets bigger and meaner, taking over more rooms, hallways, utilities, leaving the Self altered. Finally forcing the Self out. In my world-view. The Self returns to the Big Home In the Sky, where we'll all be welcome when we're done with the earthly abode. But those of us left here on earth, living in our own temporary homes, will long for the neighbors, family members, friends, & acquaintances who leave before us. Sometimes I get downright angry about who has left with no direct forwarding address! On particularly glum and difficult days, I'm jealous of those who have Gone Home before me. I can only imagine the Big Home In the Sky is a much better place than any home I inhabit now. It offers small comfort this evening.
If you're near someone you love, tell them how you feel today. If you're far from someone you love, connect with them today and tell them how you feel.
That's the only otter wisdom I can offer this evening.
Peace be with you, -Otter
Work was non-stop from the time I got in the elevator 15 minutes early until the time I left 20 minutes late. No lunch break either - used the time to preview some new training materials.
Total of about 5 hours today doing training, which means my voice was very tired tonight. Home to a husband who was gracious in making us a sumptious and healthful dinner, but who won't wear his hearing aides. I stopped trying to converse. And we have our young nephew visiting, the 2.75 year old, who won't speak unless he is demaning something, and will scream if he doesn't get what he demands. So different from the nieces I've enjoyed!
Some concerning news from middle-sister over weekend. She's been living with cancer since 2004, living admirably and (at least it looks like it from the outside) enjoyably. Word had been that as long as cancer didn't spread to her organs, she may be able to live a very long time with the cancer. Last week middle-sister started chemo treatment for cancer that has spread to her liver. No news about prognosis. Sister herself sounds glum but determined to live as well with this cancer as she has with the other. Gosh she's my hero (or, as I prefer SHE-ro). But still I wish she didn't have to live with cancer at all. I talk to God and pray a lot. And at a trusted friend's suggestion, I am taking time to meditate on what I feel, what I want, and what this all means to me. Middle-sister lives 3K miles away from me. It can feel hard to be so far away.
Today I keep thinking of her cancer as a house. And her soul (her Self) lives in that house with an unwanted roommate-cancer. (Or maybe it is a mobile home or house boat, since she herself is mobile.) At any rate, in some "homes" the unwanted roommate is summarily evicted with chemo or radiation or some combination of both. In some homes, the roomie is determined and it takes every ounce of effort to evict the little bugger. But in some homes, the unwanted roomie gets the upper hand. No amount of chemo, radiation, alternative therapies, healthy diets, Yoga classes, positive visualization, prayer, or winning lottery tickets can make the roomie leave. In fact, the roomie gets bigger and meaner, taking over more rooms, hallways, utilities, leaving the Self altered. Finally forcing the Self out. In my world-view. The Self returns to the Big Home In the Sky, where we'll all be welcome when we're done with the earthly abode. But those of us left here on earth, living in our own temporary homes, will long for the neighbors, family members, friends, & acquaintances who leave before us. Sometimes I get downright angry about who has left with no direct forwarding address! On particularly glum and difficult days, I'm jealous of those who have Gone Home before me. I can only imagine the Big Home In the Sky is a much better place than any home I inhabit now. It offers small comfort this evening.
If you're near someone you love, tell them how you feel today. If you're far from someone you love, connect with them today and tell them how you feel.
That's the only otter wisdom I can offer this evening.
Peace be with you, -Otter
0 comments so far.