That's a reference to my maternal grandmother. When she was tired of what life had to offer, she used to say "what's the use of kicking." But my middle sister is a fighter! She was discharged from hospital early in the week, and because her pain is controlled by the opiates and she is still ambulatory, she is home with us. Praise God.

It is a hard journey. My husband tried to prepare me, but no words could have prepared me for all of this.

I went to church today, and it was good to be in a house of worship, and I am greatful to the people who reached out to me and offered supportive words.

I'm eating pretty properly. Rare for me to indulge in emotional eating. So far. Instead, I pray, contact friends and family by e-mail, read, write, and WALK.

My ill sister is finding joy in simple meals, visits from friends, and being near family. Generally, she has energy for an hour or two, then naps for an hour or two, and does this throughout the day from about 8am to about 7:30 or 8pm. I wake her for the last morphine pill of the day about 10pm. So far she sleeps through the night.

MANY THANKS to "LovesAnIrshiman" and "MarjorieJo" who visited my blog and left comments earlier. Your thoughts and prayers mean the world to me at this time. Also, taking a moment to balance time for my self.

I'm taking photos while I'm here. Because still there is so much life and beauty. This is the paradox, isn't it? That even while we transition from this earthly realm, there is so much life still happening. If the technology is available, I may post a photo or two as the days go by.

Not sure I'm terribly coherent. But I had a quiet moment and just wanted to check in.

Peace be with you, -Otter