Middle sister has accepted in-home hospice care. We had a meeting that lasted 90 minutes with a representative from the company (a person who is also a registered nurse), services begin immediately. It is an amazing adjunct to the support that we, her sisters, can offer her. Medical support by phone 24/7, delivery of medications (no hunting down elusive prescriptions across three counties!), physical devices (walker, transport wheelchair, over bed table, raising of toilet seat), and emotional/mental/spiritual support through social workers, counselors, and pastoral care. Baby sister and I are relieved, middle sister is actually really happy. How glad I am that middle sister continues to wrestle; getting to dying may have as many phases as a whole lifetime itself.

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Middle sister came home from some medical testing exhausted yesterday. She needed help into and out of bed, and into and out of chairs, and on and off of the toilet. Last night was not a restful early night. I got out of bed twice to help middle sister.

God was with me last night, though, because all I felt was complete and utter devotion to middle sister's care. Having her wrap her arms around me and lowering her to the bed, her scent was sweet. Cradling her back in one arm, and her legs in another, I could feel the softness of her skin and the weight of her legs, as I gently turned and lowered her to the bed. Raising myself from the bed, I could see only love and gratitude in my middle sister's eyes. The opiates cause a terrible feeling of itchyness on the skin. I found a benadryl to help middle sister. The water used to swallow the capsule looked like liquid of saints from the pleasure middle sister had in drinking. Then she requested lotioning. I raised her sleeping shirt high, then spread lotion on my hands to warm it. I gently stroked lotion over her body, rubbing lotion into the creases of her surgery scars, over her one pert breast, over her belly taught as a drum from edema. Then I warmed more lotion in my hands and stroked her arms and hands, feeling in my hands the memory of her whole life - the arm I touched when my sister was an infant, a toddler, a school kid, a high school student, a vigorous 20 year old, a college graduate. Finally, I helped roll my sister to her side, so we could lotion her back. Warming another batch of lotion, my hands could feel the tiny bumps of her spinal vertebrae, her rib cage, her lower back and high hips. I gently returned the shirt to its place, rolled middle sister back, and we talked for a little while. We talked about Eckhart Tolle and his "Power of Now." Then it was time for lights out. I kissed my sister lightly on her cheek, rubbed her hair, lights out, and shuffled back in slippered feet to the couch in the living room, making certain the baby monitor volume was high. I slept peacefully, middle sister slept well, too.

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Logged food yesterday. Started log today. Walked yesterday. Looks like I might have time to walk today.

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Support, prayer, positive thoughts, greeting cards, e-mails, notes, blog posts, flowers, meals ... so much love is coming our way. This must be grace, because who can adequately say thank you for all this generosity.

Thank you. -Otter