OTTER's CalorieKing blog
Sunday, Dec 7 2008 - A Day of Worship, Halleleujah!
View OTTER's food & exercise for this day
Church visit this morning during later service, when there is Music! Gave me time to weep, time to smile, time to reflect, time to appreciate that me and my family are not the only ones in transition. Gotta stop introducing myself as "visiting a sister in last stages of cancer." I want to be a visitor, and see what happens after the introduction phase.
Found a good little pamphlet for my 2-1/2 year old niece, will give it to her parents. Hope it is accepted with the spirit intended: "Sad Isn't Bad, when someone you love dies." Since our niece lives with us, she is grappling with what is happening to her beloved auntie. I haven't seen her parents (my baby sister and brother-in-law) approach this with the toddler directly, though maybe they have. I hope the pamphlet may help.
In my devotional process this morning, I came across a list of what NOT do do for those in mourning. Which made me think a brief list of what NOT to do for the terminally ill and the family of the terminally ill, might be appropriate right here.
Don't be afraid. Do not be so afraid that you keep your distance. Call and keep in touch as best you can. If the family does not know you directly, do not expect them to give you full disclosure health reports over the telephone. That information should come from the ill person directly, when possible, or give the family some indication of your relationship to the individual (Ex: "I know your sister from school, we worked together for five years."
Help. Yes, we need help when caring for someone we love. Bring meal fixings or a light meal prepared. If you suspect there is a dietary concern, ask first. Offer to run an errand or two, or watch a child for a while, or bring movies. Anything to support, distract, assist, is MUCH appreciated!
Limited Bad News, Please. Please do not tell the terminally ill person about other terminally ill persons you know or knew. Please allow the family to help the terminally ill person decide about personal matters like hospice care, health care proxy, funeral and/or memorial service arrangements.
Everyone's Different. Not everyone will prepare for their own death the way you think is right. Honor and respect the terminally ill person's wishes. Think something needs talking about? Test the waters gently. If the ill person steers you away, stop talking about the topic.
It's Okay to FEEL. Cry. Gnash your teeth. Wail. Laugh. Smile. Hug. Touch. Explore together how you feel, ask questions about how you can help and and about what your terminally ill friend or family member is going through. You may be surprised by what you learn.
Wrong. My list may be wrong for your circumstances. Walk gently, listen carefully, use your best judgment, approach your terminally ill friends or relatives with loving concern.
TODAY'S PICTURE: My beloved middle sister working on preparing etchings for an art show opening next week. Our stepmother is standing in foreground, assisting with the work. In this picture I see passion, love, devotion, hope. It was taken about 2 weeks after picture posted yesterday.
Peace be with you, carry peace with you into the week. -Otter
Found a good little pamphlet for my 2-1/2 year old niece, will give it to her parents. Hope it is accepted with the spirit intended: "Sad Isn't Bad, when someone you love dies." Since our niece lives with us, she is grappling with what is happening to her beloved auntie. I haven't seen her parents (my baby sister and brother-in-law) approach this with the toddler directly, though maybe they have. I hope the pamphlet may help.
In my devotional process this morning, I came across a list of what NOT do do for those in mourning. Which made me think a brief list of what NOT to do for the terminally ill and the family of the terminally ill, might be appropriate right here.
Don't be afraid. Do not be so afraid that you keep your distance. Call and keep in touch as best you can. If the family does not know you directly, do not expect them to give you full disclosure health reports over the telephone. That information should come from the ill person directly, when possible, or give the family some indication of your relationship to the individual (Ex: "I know your sister from school, we worked together for five years."
Help. Yes, we need help when caring for someone we love. Bring meal fixings or a light meal prepared. If you suspect there is a dietary concern, ask first. Offer to run an errand or two, or watch a child for a while, or bring movies. Anything to support, distract, assist, is MUCH appreciated!
Limited Bad News, Please. Please do not tell the terminally ill person about other terminally ill persons you know or knew. Please allow the family to help the terminally ill person decide about personal matters like hospice care, health care proxy, funeral and/or memorial service arrangements.
Everyone's Different. Not everyone will prepare for their own death the way you think is right. Honor and respect the terminally ill person's wishes. Think something needs talking about? Test the waters gently. If the ill person steers you away, stop talking about the topic.
It's Okay to FEEL. Cry. Gnash your teeth. Wail. Laugh. Smile. Hug. Touch. Explore together how you feel, ask questions about how you can help and and about what your terminally ill friend or family member is going through. You may be surprised by what you learn.
Wrong. My list may be wrong for your circumstances. Walk gently, listen carefully, use your best judgment, approach your terminally ill friends or relatives with loving concern.
TODAY'S PICTURE: My beloved middle sister working on preparing etchings for an art show opening next week. Our stepmother is standing in foreground, assisting with the work. In this picture I see passion, love, devotion, hope. It was taken about 2 weeks after picture posted yesterday.
Peace be with you, carry peace with you into the week. -Otter
1 comments so far.
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a decade ago
by BIGGRAMMA