We've started gathering the threads of middle sister's life. Funeral arrangements have been made - small memorial service next friday, larger celebration of her life in the spring. Packing clothes, looking through closets, cleaning kitchen, waiting for hospice to come collect their equipment, medications already disposed of in the legal fashion.

Gathering our own threads of understanding, grief to healing, will take much longer than the tidying of middle sister's home.

So many emotions and thoughts run through me at this time. Feel a little zombie-like in my life. Forgetful, not remembering to eat, then eating too much. I ate my first greens in four days last night.

I can't believe the last month has passed so quickly. I'm both grateful that middle sister's pain was not extended longer, and outraged that we simply didn't have more time to talk and appreciate this blessed beloved sister.

I'm readying for church. The priest at the Episcopal church where I have been attending will offer Mass in her honor today. I am grateful for this generous blessing from the church.

I post a portrait our dad painted of middle sister when she was about fifteen. It gives a much better hint of just how beautiful a woman was my sister.

Peace be with you, -Otter