OTTER's CalorieKing blog
Monday, Jul 27 2009 - Monday, a vacation day!...
View OTTER's food & exercise for this day
My favorite kind of vacation day - stay at home day!
Good weekend. Blend of activities to keep me moving and thinking and learning.
MOVING: 3 hour 20 minute bike ride on Saturday. Gardening Saturday and this morning. Mayo Clinic Arthritis Yoga exercises (by Rodney Yee on a Gaiam product). Laundry at the laundromat (in 97 degree weather!) for 2+ hours last night. House organizing (still getting moved into the new kitchen). Hoping today to clean home office in 99 degree weather.
THINKING: Reading through the stress booklet included with the Mayo Clinic Arthritis DVD, I realize (finally? again?) that I have (or have had) EVERY category of stress in my life this year. D'oh! No wonder it is so hard for me to feel I'm accomplishing anything, no wonder my memory feels so bad, no wonder I feel like it takes longer to learn anything or complete any projects, no wonder I've wanted to say QUITS to my marriage, no wonder I keep using food to cope. I just want the "pain" to stop. I want to feel normal, I want to relax, I want to not worry, I want to trust. Last year, somehow, trusting in Jesus was abundantly enough. This year, with all the changes, trusting in Jesus keeps me hanging on, but it doesn't remove the pain.
Thinking about my marriage, about my garden, about my work, about my exercise, about my faith community and its future, thinking about my gifts and talents, thinking it is time to begin coming out of the cocoon caused by this year's stressful changes!
LEARNING: Work is stressful. It adds to my difficulty in eating well (lots of free food, lots of bad food choices available, hard to overcome my lifetime habit of using food to deal with boredom, anger, frustration). Work is also adding to my arthritis pain. I have a sedentary job, and my commute time is approximately 2 hours daily. My goal is to find work closer to home and/or work part-time. Less hours at work, less commute time, and my arthritis should not be so much trouble (concluded this because of how good is movement and pain after a 3-day weekend). I've started to apply to jobs in my own county, and if nothing turns up by August 1, I will speak to my boss about the possibilty of working part-time on my current job.
Financially I've learned that I can seek work closer to home or ask for part-time work on my current job because HUBBY and I are working together on the monies, so I finally understand what $$$ we need to run our home. Because the dollars had been such a bitter bone of contention in our marriage, I gave up complete control of OUR monies about 5 years ago. After the Sheriff knocked on the door a month ago, HUBBY and I have been working together to get me to a place of understanding about what we have, what we need to do, and where our debt level is after this remodel.
Maritally I've learned that I don't trust my HUBBY, and we still have lots of things to work through, but I still love my HUBBY. Gosh, what a WEIRD, WEIRD paradox! At his request, I've agreed that we will not do anything to dissolve our marriage for the rest of this year. Just focus on getting our financial house in order after the remodel, and see what we really want. (The underlying issues that got us to the place of such extreme discord still exist. While Hubby would prefer to ignore those things and just stay married forever, he has agreed to address the issues EVEN if it means we come to the conclusion "some things won't change" and maybe "some things can't be accepted." We're in process.
Then a variety of interconnected things, related to focus, faith, farming... We have our garden in part because we want to be less dependant on the grid. I'd like to work closer to home in part because in the event of emergency or disaster, I want to be closer to home. Some emergencies we may recover from depending upon scope of the event -- earthquake, flood, winter storm, summer drought. Some things are less certain (use your imagination here). My faith community is part of my own Dorothy Day-like, Jacques Ellul-like way of being in connection with God, which connects back to farming and focus. And what I do day-by-day (my focus) is what I am and what I become well into my future.
So things are okay, good even. I'm recognizing and acknowledging the stress points. Taking action where I can change things. Finding ways to ameliorate stress where I can. And not fretting over the rest. For it is still a long way to wholeness and "normal."
See how important is time for staring out the window?
Good weekend. Blend of activities to keep me moving and thinking and learning.
MOVING: 3 hour 20 minute bike ride on Saturday. Gardening Saturday and this morning. Mayo Clinic Arthritis Yoga exercises (by Rodney Yee on a Gaiam product). Laundry at the laundromat (in 97 degree weather!) for 2+ hours last night. House organizing (still getting moved into the new kitchen). Hoping today to clean home office in 99 degree weather.
THINKING: Reading through the stress booklet included with the Mayo Clinic Arthritis DVD, I realize (finally? again?) that I have (or have had) EVERY category of stress in my life this year. D'oh! No wonder it is so hard for me to feel I'm accomplishing anything, no wonder my memory feels so bad, no wonder I feel like it takes longer to learn anything or complete any projects, no wonder I've wanted to say QUITS to my marriage, no wonder I keep using food to cope. I just want the "pain" to stop. I want to feel normal, I want to relax, I want to not worry, I want to trust. Last year, somehow, trusting in Jesus was abundantly enough. This year, with all the changes, trusting in Jesus keeps me hanging on, but it doesn't remove the pain.
Thinking about my marriage, about my garden, about my work, about my exercise, about my faith community and its future, thinking about my gifts and talents, thinking it is time to begin coming out of the cocoon caused by this year's stressful changes!
LEARNING: Work is stressful. It adds to my difficulty in eating well (lots of free food, lots of bad food choices available, hard to overcome my lifetime habit of using food to deal with boredom, anger, frustration). Work is also adding to my arthritis pain. I have a sedentary job, and my commute time is approximately 2 hours daily. My goal is to find work closer to home and/or work part-time. Less hours at work, less commute time, and my arthritis should not be so much trouble (concluded this because of how good is movement and pain after a 3-day weekend). I've started to apply to jobs in my own county, and if nothing turns up by August 1, I will speak to my boss about the possibilty of working part-time on my current job.
Financially I've learned that I can seek work closer to home or ask for part-time work on my current job because HUBBY and I are working together on the monies, so I finally understand what $$$ we need to run our home. Because the dollars had been such a bitter bone of contention in our marriage, I gave up complete control of OUR monies about 5 years ago. After the Sheriff knocked on the door a month ago, HUBBY and I have been working together to get me to a place of understanding about what we have, what we need to do, and where our debt level is after this remodel.
Maritally I've learned that I don't trust my HUBBY, and we still have lots of things to work through, but I still love my HUBBY. Gosh, what a WEIRD, WEIRD paradox! At his request, I've agreed that we will not do anything to dissolve our marriage for the rest of this year. Just focus on getting our financial house in order after the remodel, and see what we really want. (The underlying issues that got us to the place of such extreme discord still exist. While Hubby would prefer to ignore those things and just stay married forever, he has agreed to address the issues EVEN if it means we come to the conclusion "some things won't change" and maybe "some things can't be accepted." We're in process.
Then a variety of interconnected things, related to focus, faith, farming... We have our garden in part because we want to be less dependant on the grid. I'd like to work closer to home in part because in the event of emergency or disaster, I want to be closer to home. Some emergencies we may recover from depending upon scope of the event -- earthquake, flood, winter storm, summer drought. Some things are less certain (use your imagination here). My faith community is part of my own Dorothy Day-like, Jacques Ellul-like way of being in connection with God, which connects back to farming and focus. And what I do day-by-day (my focus) is what I am and what I become well into my future.
So things are okay, good even. I'm recognizing and acknowledging the stress points. Taking action where I can change things. Finding ways to ameliorate stress where I can. And not fretting over the rest. For it is still a long way to wholeness and "normal."
See how important is time for staring out the window?
2 comments so far.
2.
a decade ago
Very meaty post, Otter. Lots to think about. Obviously, something's gotta give with the work issue. Have you surveyed for what you can do at home?
And you have another friend giving up cable TV!
Luv, Yvonne
by YEWTREE
1.
a decade ago
My hubby and I have been dreaming of getting less dependent on the grid too. We have a garden and lots of fruit trees, reduced our water needs by pulling out grass, put in solar panels, and now he's talking of canceling cable TV (GASP!!). These things make us feel more connected to God's great earth too.
:heart2:
by MARJORIEO