PLATEOFSTARS's CalorieKing blog
Wednesday, May 5 2010 - Being Finished
View PLATEOFSTARS's food & exercise for this day
There is this woman in my office who used to be on the chubbier side and last year, she lost a substantial amount of weight. I remember having a very invigorating conversation with her last fall about it and she had told me about how she'd been using weight watchers and the difficulties she had encountered in her weight loss journey but how worth it she felt her struggles had been.
I've been noticing over the past few weeks that she's gained quite a bit of weight.
And it makes me really really sad. Sad because I can see her nice suits starting to get tight and ill-fitting. I see her dipping into the candy bowls and muffins and doughnuts. I see her really really stressed.
I feel sad because I know how hard she worked to drop the weight and how frustrating it must be for her to face having gained it back. I feel sad because it is a huge wake-up call to how easy it is to fall back into those old patterns.
My husband and I were talking a week ago about Calorie King and he made some comment about me being "almost done and not needing to use CK for much longer". And I promptly corrected him that I am nowhere near "done"... that this is going to be a lifelong journey for me.
Of course hitting 150 (or under) will be a HUGE milestone in my weight loss journey, it's only part of the way. The rest of the journey is that big scary field of "maintenance." And I am considering this journey less and less about weight loss these days as I am considering it about "fitness".
As I get more into soccer (oh the burn from last night's practice!) I realize that fitness is a constantly evolving space in which I can improve. That is exciting for me!
So no, I'm not done and seeing someone like my coworker struggle through a gain is just a sobering reminder of that.
I am everyday getting closer to a new me - but I know that when I say that... I have already found a new me: the one I am today! And the new me that I am becoming...? I will never find truly find her because she is always going to be changing. And I'm ok with that!
I've been noticing over the past few weeks that she's gained quite a bit of weight.
And it makes me really really sad. Sad because I can see her nice suits starting to get tight and ill-fitting. I see her dipping into the candy bowls and muffins and doughnuts. I see her really really stressed.
I feel sad because I know how hard she worked to drop the weight and how frustrating it must be for her to face having gained it back. I feel sad because it is a huge wake-up call to how easy it is to fall back into those old patterns.
My husband and I were talking a week ago about Calorie King and he made some comment about me being "almost done and not needing to use CK for much longer". And I promptly corrected him that I am nowhere near "done"... that this is going to be a lifelong journey for me.
Of course hitting 150 (or under) will be a HUGE milestone in my weight loss journey, it's only part of the way. The rest of the journey is that big scary field of "maintenance." And I am considering this journey less and less about weight loss these days as I am considering it about "fitness".
As I get more into soccer (oh the burn from last night's practice!) I realize that fitness is a constantly evolving space in which I can improve. That is exciting for me!
So no, I'm not done and seeing someone like my coworker struggle through a gain is just a sobering reminder of that.
I am everyday getting closer to a new me - but I know that when I say that... I have already found a new me: the one I am today! And the new me that I am becoming...? I will never find truly find her because she is always going to be changing. And I'm ok with that!
6 comments so far.
6.
a decade ago
It is so easy to get complacent and gain back all the weight and then some if your not careful...that is where the idea that this is a lifestyle change comes in. I have done that so many times myself...It scares me too to think how many times I have been down this road, how many times I have said to myself "I am never going to gain that weight back again" and how many times it happened anyways. That is where the whole mindset change comes into play. I have never had that before and for once I think I too am learning to develop that outlook on it...as you said, it isn't about losing weight at some point it turns into being fit and healthy.
I am sorry for your co-worker...it is so hard to lose I hate to see someone gain back all the weight that they worked so hard to lose in the first place. And how do you bring that up to someone without hurting her. I dont even know if there is a way. Maybe you could go for walks with her at lunch? I dont know. Just a thought. My heart goes out to her too.
by TNYBUBBLZ
5.
a decade ago
That is one of my biggest fears that I will lose a ton of weight and then get lazy and put it all back on. But I keep reminding myself that this is not a "diet" I am doing things that are better for me which means I can have a treat now and again, but I don't need it every day. I feel sad for your co-worker cause it sounds like me and that makes me sad and scared! But I am worth the fight and I will keep fighting
:)
by MRSDSB
4.
a decade ago
I've gone up and down my entire life. It happens... a lot. It takes a major awakening to realize that this is a forever thing. I keep telling myself that once I reach my 90th birthday, I'll stop managing calories. And by then, I'll have to slurp my birthday cake through a straw.
:laugh5:
by AWH617
3.
a decade ago
Ahh! To be young and have increased fitness to look forward to...
Bea
by BDEMOTT
2.
a decade ago
I've lost and gained weight a few times in my adult life. I've been everything from a size 6 to a size 18. My roommate asked me shortly after I started my current plan when I could go back to eating "normal". I doubt eating pie or cake with ice cream every night is normal. I kind of like the way I have been eating this last month and hopefully I will stick with it as a permanent lifestyle.
by THORNEAPPLE
1.
a decade ago
Very well put. I agree that as I am becoming more and more active, it's not about the weight loss as much as it is the fitness. And I'm really, REALLY, liking the improved sleep (black cohash has helped the hot flashes too), increased energy, and general feeling of well-being. I can't run far yet but I'm enjoying what I can do. And I get a lot more attention from my husband now a days!!
:eyebrows:
by ROZCRW4