So, let me start out by saying...

I KNOW this line of thinking is COMPLETELY irrational...

but for the longest time, actually until a few weeks ago... I refused to go outside my "comfort zone" of clothing stores.

My comfort zone included stores that, when I was larger I was comfortable going into even if I was at the very top end of their sizing.

I've had a mental complex about going into any other stores. I guess I had this idea that the salesclerks would look down their nose at me and snicker when I tried on even their biggest sizes and I had to walk away without anything having fit.

There have been SO MANY times in my past where I've gone into stores alone and had salesclerks tell me that they didn't think they carried anything in my size or other customers seemingly looking at me out of the corner of their eyes judging me and what I would look at.

I've been even MORE times in stores with friends... omg how I HATED going clothes shopping with friends because they never fit anything in MY stores and I never fit anything in theirs. But because of my embarrassment for being so big I'd never take them into plus size stores and "pretend" to browse in thin stores. Wanting to appear like I was enjoying myself I'd browse and buy the only things I knew would fit... earrings or socks.

Anyway - it's taken a LONG time to get over my fear of going into "regular" size clothing stores. I told myself once I got into single digits I had no excuse not to go outside my comfort zone. EVERY clothing store carries an 8, right?

So, in the past few weeks... as my summer clothing situation had become desperate... I ventured out of my comfort zone. I'm not sure what stores you have in the states but I've been in Zara, Jacob, Costa Blanca, Calvin Klein, and others...

and I have to say I am absolutely SHOCKED that I am usually a "small" in tops in all of the above stores. Still a medium in bottoms and dresses... but wow! And to think I could have, most of this time losing weight, gone into those stores and have been able to fit their mediums and larges.

Anyway... this is a huge milestone for me.

I have to say... I love that my style is branching out... I love that I have more options. I love that I feel NORMAL and not judged (even if I initially get a heart-in-throat reaction when I first walk in the store thinking I'm being judged, I'm getting over that).

I THINK I COULD GET USED TO THIS!