PRNCSSGRL's CalorieKing blog
Sunday, Jun 27 2010 - When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade...
View PRNCSSGRL's food & exercise for this day
Throw the damn glass at it!!!
This post is long in coming, but has taken forever to actually leave my brain, travel down my fingers onto the keyboard and make it to this blog. Im still at a loss for words over what has transpired over the last week or so but I also cant just not at least try to make some sense of what can now be described only as a true wrench in my life.
Without going into too much detail, I have been relieved of my position as a video relay interpreter for Sorenson communications as of last week Wednesday. To say Im a little shook up by the entire situation would be a severe under estimate. Ive been with the company for almost three years to the date and I walked out of there on Wednesday feeling like nothing more than a five digit number (my interpreter number used to identify myself) that had no value to the company except to process as many calls as possible so that the upper echelon of the company could reap the benefits of my work.
Im trying my best to stay in the moment and to use the tools Ive learned in the last six months to keep myself grounded in today and not go off into oh my god, what am I going to do next week, next month mode. Its not easy. In fact its downright craptastically difficult. Im trying to refrain from disconnecting my cable, turning off my internet and asking for my money back on all the training sessions Ive purchased. Im trying to refrain from selling everything in my house that isnt nailed down. Im trying to keep my thoughts right here in front of me and remember that this is not the end of the world.
It easy to feel like it is.
To know me, is to know that everything that used to define me was wrapped up in my work. My work made me a worthwhile person. Work made me a social person. It made me feel important. It kept chaos at bay. Work was what kept me sane. Over the course of the last six months Ive come to understand that work not only DOES NOT define me as a person, it also cannot make my life any less complicated. My life is complicated because I allow it to be that way. So the only way to combat that is to not let it get that way. Sounds easy enough
Ive taken the steps to file for unemployment. Ive continued to go to the gym everyday this week (and now that there is extra time staying for longer). I saw Coach Chuck on Friday and it was pure awesomeness. Im reminding myself that there is some money saved up for a few months of house payments and come the end of September Ill go back to work at the local community colleges in this area. Im thinking about the paths I want to take in the near future and how Im going to make sure those paths are successful while I travel on them. Im thinking about leaving the profession of being an interpreter all together. Dont get me wrong, I love it. Its what Ive wanted to do since I was in elementary school and its what Ive enjoyed doing the last 10 years of my life. Im looking to get more personal with people now. Im not sure what that means but I want to experience the change in people that Ive experienced over that last six months. I have something inside that needs to connect with people that feel there is no chance to live a different lifestyle. The change in me is the change possible in anyone. I want to be a part of that change, that solution, that feeling of So this is what it means to live life.
My husband has been extremely supportive through out this whole holy hell I just got fired feeling. He drove me back down to work to collect some of my things (most of which I just left behind), my food (cause you know Im not leaving no Trader Joes food behind) and has been a constant ray of light reminding me that all is not lost. If unemployment comes through I should be okay for the summer time. If not, then well figure out what to do at that point. I have some 401k that I can plug into if need be. Im just going to relax over the next couple of weeks, pick up some sub work here and there, and live life the best way that I know how
Digging Deep and then Digging Deeper!!!
* I will not allow myself to get depressed. There is nothing to be depressed over. This is just a situation, this is not the end of the world.
* I will not use food to make me feel better. Food is fuel. Food is not my therapist. Food is part of the solution. It is not part of the problem any longer.
* I will not allow the old sabotaging tapes to play inside my head. I will not look in the mirror and think negative thoughts about myself. I will not look at my body and tell myself Im ugly or fat because I am neither of these things. In fact I am 60 pounds lighter today than I was six months ago and I actually enjoy looking at myself.
* I will continue to get out of bed and I will continue to move forward.
* I will go to the gym everyday for at least an hour. Breaking a sweat will be a priority over the next couple of weeks. This is the most important journey of my life and it will not take a back seat for anything.
* I will continue to see a trainer twice a week. I have 25 sessions paid for so there is no need for me to do anything but use them. Coach Chuck said he can give me at least two weeks of sessions as well before a decision has to be made about whether or not to switch over. This will put me at the end of September at which time I will re-evaluate whether to continue with trainer.
* I will register for my triathlon and I will continue to train. My husband forbade me to even have one miniscule thought about not participating in the September triathlon. Thats why I keep him around!!!
* I will continue to run. In fact I will be able to participate in the July 17th 10k run here on Vashon Island. I registered and then found out I had a work related workshop that I was required to attend. No work = not required. Things are looking better already!
Life will continue to move forward. Its only been a few days and over the course of those days Ive felt a plethora of emotions. Ive cried and laughed. Ive shouted and stomped my feet like a three year old. Ive also danced around my living room, excited over the possibilities
Life isnt over.
Its just different.
Watch for that glass cause Im giving it a good throw at life!
This post is long in coming, but has taken forever to actually leave my brain, travel down my fingers onto the keyboard and make it to this blog. Im still at a loss for words over what has transpired over the last week or so but I also cant just not at least try to make some sense of what can now be described only as a true wrench in my life.
Without going into too much detail, I have been relieved of my position as a video relay interpreter for Sorenson communications as of last week Wednesday. To say Im a little shook up by the entire situation would be a severe under estimate. Ive been with the company for almost three years to the date and I walked out of there on Wednesday feeling like nothing more than a five digit number (my interpreter number used to identify myself) that had no value to the company except to process as many calls as possible so that the upper echelon of the company could reap the benefits of my work.
Im trying my best to stay in the moment and to use the tools Ive learned in the last six months to keep myself grounded in today and not go off into oh my god, what am I going to do next week, next month mode. Its not easy. In fact its downright craptastically difficult. Im trying to refrain from disconnecting my cable, turning off my internet and asking for my money back on all the training sessions Ive purchased. Im trying to refrain from selling everything in my house that isnt nailed down. Im trying to keep my thoughts right here in front of me and remember that this is not the end of the world.
It easy to feel like it is.
To know me, is to know that everything that used to define me was wrapped up in my work. My work made me a worthwhile person. Work made me a social person. It made me feel important. It kept chaos at bay. Work was what kept me sane. Over the course of the last six months Ive come to understand that work not only DOES NOT define me as a person, it also cannot make my life any less complicated. My life is complicated because I allow it to be that way. So the only way to combat that is to not let it get that way. Sounds easy enough
Ive taken the steps to file for unemployment. Ive continued to go to the gym everyday this week (and now that there is extra time staying for longer). I saw Coach Chuck on Friday and it was pure awesomeness. Im reminding myself that there is some money saved up for a few months of house payments and come the end of September Ill go back to work at the local community colleges in this area. Im thinking about the paths I want to take in the near future and how Im going to make sure those paths are successful while I travel on them. Im thinking about leaving the profession of being an interpreter all together. Dont get me wrong, I love it. Its what Ive wanted to do since I was in elementary school and its what Ive enjoyed doing the last 10 years of my life. Im looking to get more personal with people now. Im not sure what that means but I want to experience the change in people that Ive experienced over that last six months. I have something inside that needs to connect with people that feel there is no chance to live a different lifestyle. The change in me is the change possible in anyone. I want to be a part of that change, that solution, that feeling of So this is what it means to live life.
My husband has been extremely supportive through out this whole holy hell I just got fired feeling. He drove me back down to work to collect some of my things (most of which I just left behind), my food (cause you know Im not leaving no Trader Joes food behind) and has been a constant ray of light reminding me that all is not lost. If unemployment comes through I should be okay for the summer time. If not, then well figure out what to do at that point. I have some 401k that I can plug into if need be. Im just going to relax over the next couple of weeks, pick up some sub work here and there, and live life the best way that I know how
Digging Deep and then Digging Deeper!!!
* I will not allow myself to get depressed. There is nothing to be depressed over. This is just a situation, this is not the end of the world.
* I will not use food to make me feel better. Food is fuel. Food is not my therapist. Food is part of the solution. It is not part of the problem any longer.
* I will not allow the old sabotaging tapes to play inside my head. I will not look in the mirror and think negative thoughts about myself. I will not look at my body and tell myself Im ugly or fat because I am neither of these things. In fact I am 60 pounds lighter today than I was six months ago and I actually enjoy looking at myself.
* I will continue to get out of bed and I will continue to move forward.
* I will go to the gym everyday for at least an hour. Breaking a sweat will be a priority over the next couple of weeks. This is the most important journey of my life and it will not take a back seat for anything.
* I will continue to see a trainer twice a week. I have 25 sessions paid for so there is no need for me to do anything but use them. Coach Chuck said he can give me at least two weeks of sessions as well before a decision has to be made about whether or not to switch over. This will put me at the end of September at which time I will re-evaluate whether to continue with trainer.
* I will register for my triathlon and I will continue to train. My husband forbade me to even have one miniscule thought about not participating in the September triathlon. Thats why I keep him around!!!
* I will continue to run. In fact I will be able to participate in the July 17th 10k run here on Vashon Island. I registered and then found out I had a work related workshop that I was required to attend. No work = not required. Things are looking better already!
Life will continue to move forward. Its only been a few days and over the course of those days Ive felt a plethora of emotions. Ive cried and laughed. Ive shouted and stomped my feet like a three year old. Ive also danced around my living room, excited over the possibilities
Life isnt over.
Its just different.
Watch for that glass cause Im giving it a good throw at life!
12 comments so far.
12.
a decade ago
Hi Tara, I saw your blog and I have been through this myself. It is the weirdest, most shocking thing, especially when you've done a terrific job.
:smile1:
I have complete compassion for your plight and I admire your tenacity to press on.
I will tell you this, there is a reason that is happened which will be to your benefit. Sometimes it is hard to see that something so dreadful could turn out to be great when it comes out of nowhere and slaps us. My personal belief is that your destiny lies somewhere else either with another company or in another field. I don't know you, so I don't know all of your interests, etc. but when it happened to me, I really evaluated my career and I made a change and it changed everything for me. I love my current work, I've stood up for what I believe in and my company would have a heart attack if I were to leave.
If you can get the perspective that it was time for you to do something else and they just helped you, you will ultimately thank them. I really seriously thought about sending a big thank you card to the boss that canned me. Later I found out info about the company that helped me to see that they could never keep someone around with my standards and integrity. I was a threat to their entire operation because they were "not" above board. Ugh. Now I work with people who are above board and who respect the way I do business.
I am confident you will end up in a great situation, whatever you decide to do. And try not to take it too personally, I know it's hard but companies make business decisions that often have little to do with the person. It stings but it's business. Another business should be thrilled to have you.
Good luck, congrats on keeping up your work at the gym! You will triumph and see the actual beauty in this after you have a chance to process.
I study with a teacher who says " there is life after everything" and that will be the case for you with this, I think. You have a great spirit (I can tell from your writing) and I am actually excited for what your new future holds for you. It's all in how you look at it.!
Cheers!
Fran
by ICANDOIT7
11.
a decade ago
Tara - good for you for staying positive, and you have one heck of a hubby!
:heart1:
Take the time to regroup and enjoy your summer!
by THORNEAPPLE
10.
a decade ago
You are awesome! Even with what you are going through, you have been giving great advice to others and encouraging them along. You are a true leader.
If you decide not to take another job too soon, I hope that you enjoy and make the most of the time off. You deserve it!
by AARON_GREENE
9.
a decade ago
You have learned/are learning some great lessons about work & life. You are absolutely right that there is nothing to be depressed about. It's natural to be a bit anxious, but you have lots of options and directions to choose from, and you are right to see it as an exciting opportunity rather than a disaster. I bet your new muscles will help you fling that glass a lot farther than you could have a few months back!
by CLOE
8.
a decade ago
Tara I wish I was just as squared away as you are! You got some pretty solid goals there and I have no doubt that you'll find your way through this and naturally become an even stronger person than before. *hugs*
by NEXUSNRG
7.
a decade ago
Tara, things may same hard at times but the important thing is that you remember all the things that you have accomplished and all the possiblities that are waiting for you out there. You, my friend, are going to be fine, you have a husband that loves you, friends that care about you, and a trainer just waiting to kick your butt when you need it in the gym!
:devil7: You will make it through this, you can make it through anything and like you have written this might be just the thing to push you into something totally different, something that really makes you feel complete and happy as a person in your work. All will work out girl. Keep your head up and a smile on the beautiful face! Hugs to you girl! 
:kiss:
by TNYBUBBLZ
6.
a decade ago
Tara, you go girl!
:thumbu2:
:queen:
Time to be angry, time to reflect and then time to move on. When you feel down, come back to this blog and re-read it. Things will get better and then dance nekkie in your living room.
Sally1
by SALLY1
5.
a decade ago
Hugs to you my friend for this tough time and sucky time with the job... But a big high five to you for keeping yourself in check! Finally THANK YOU for being you!
by MRSDSB
4.
a decade ago
We identify ourselves with the jobs we have not the person we are. Being fired, laid off, RIF, etc is a big blow to one's ego and self esteem. Been there. Not a fun place. But there is always a way to the other side. To the place where the sun shines on us. You are well on your way. You are a wonderful person and have a lot to give to the world. Life isn't over for sure.
by MAURABARTLEY
3.
a decade ago
Here you are in the midst of your own challenges - still motivating others! You will pass this test and come out even stronger. Something really special is waiting in your future.
by WILDHARE
2.
a decade ago
But did you dance in the living room nekkie?
:D
Thank goodness for unemployment and 401k plans and good thing you saved here and there. Sometimes we are shot down with ONE painful arrow and our minds begin to tear us down with other multiple arrows. It's up to us how we choose to survive. I'm looking forward to hearing more about your newfound success that is sure to come!
by PAPERBACKNOVEL
1.
a decade ago
I like that idea about throwing the glass around. I've thought about doing that too. So now I drink out of plastic cups, just in case
Can I say how awesome you and your husband are together? I hope for that type of relationship myself one day.
by HAPPYNSWEET77CHI