I don't know how to explain my eating yesterday.

The only thing I can say about it is I started eating at 9am and I didn't stop eating until sometime after 6pm. I feel like it was some sort of day dream. It went something like this: I got up yesterday morning and had my usual pre-run/workout breakfast (banana and almond butter). After my run I had a banana, a few strawberries and two granola bars. Once home I kept going to the fridge (at least every 5 minutes) and popping handfuls of grapes, blueberries and cheese. Went to my MIL's house and from there continued to consume more cheese, bbq chicken, ribs, coleslaw and pickled veggies and about a pound of blackberries picked from her yard. Lots of food brought home and I continued to pick at chicken and grapes until I finally forced myself into bed at the late hour of 7:30p.

Looking over the food items it doesn't seem that bad. Yes, lots of fruit was consumed. Yes I ran 4+ miles yesterday before the chowfest happened but for me this was a lot of food. Enough food that I actually weighed myself and it said 191 (that's 6 pounds of food in my stomach). I couldn't stop eating. I am grateful that my food choices were some what healthy (minus the bbq sauce of course) but only because I don't keep "bad" food in my house any longer. I kept asking myself if I was hungry and the answer coming back was always yes but come on after 3 large pieces of chicken and a crap ton of coleslaw you can't be hungry enough to eat ribs too.

It was all mindless eating.

Maybe I pushed myself too hard this last week. I worked out with Godfather three times. I worked out with Supergirl Megan once. I biked a total of 40 miles and ran a total of 10+ miles including some really hard hill work. I woke up yesterday sore, tired and run down...so I ate.

I ate until my stomach was bloated. I ate until I was so full I thought I was going to throw up and then I continued to eat until finally my brain shut down and all I could do was go to bed. I slept almost 10 hours and as I write this feel like I could go back to bed for a few more hours.

The damage doesn't seem so bad now that I'm up and moving around. I'm actually trying to convince myself that in the end hardly any food was consumed (I mean compared to what I was eating just a short 8 months ago) but truth be told: it was a binge. I won't spend too much time obsessing over it. I won't go out and hit the gym hard today in hopes of rectifying whatever weight was gained. In fact, I'm taking a much needed day off and the only sweat that will be coming off my face is from working on the front yard because it has been neglected long enough. I may go for a walk on the water front just to clear my head a bit. I'll choose my food wisely today and may even measure everything just to feel a little more in control.

I'm going to close this week not thinking about all the food I put in my mouth but rather all the sweat that fell off my body. I won't think about the mindless eating but rather all the mindful moving I did. I won't think about the "bad" choices because there were none. There were only choices and I am in control of them all.