Oh Tara, I completely understand this post. It's very easy to make excuses for yourself when you are coming off of the post-race high. Trust me, I'm still struggling to shut down the bad habits I indulged post-marathon. I also understand the sabotage that happens right before you hit a goal, though mine tends to occur right after (i.e. I hit a new low, then eat like crap).

Regardless of how well we do controlling food, I think there are always times when it comes back and shows that it can still boss us around a bit. Maybe just work on maintaining for a few weeks. Take a break. Perhaps you are just tired. This whole thing can be exhausting.

I agree with Kat, too. Your "goal weight" was probably a somewhat arbitrary number, based on your BMI. Maybe you want to stop actively trying to lose? I did. I raised my goal weight 5lbs when I got to a point where I was happy with what I saw. That was a few months ago, I've never QUITE hit the 145 (with marathon training I just stopped trying to lose), but I've been able to maintin within about a 3lb range for the last few months without any logging. That feels pretty good. Now, I feel like I'm ready to try to lose the last few pounds. It's not a race. You can take as long as you want.

Don't be afraid. you are different now. Yes, you may occaisionally eat the fries. But you won't allow yourself to settle into a fry-eating pattern. This blog post shows you are already self-correcting. Just the awareness is a huge step beyond where you were, remember that. There was a time when you probably ate this way at every meal and never gave it a second thought. You will figure this out.

by AUBRIEANNIE

Live! It's more than just a number! There IS a world outside of the bubble! Don't fall into the trap of a deadline, what's the rush?

by PAPERBACKNOVEL

I've been catching up with your blog posts this morning and WOW! Even though we're at different ends of the journey I can so relate.

I think what you're going through is normal, or at least I hope it is since I feel like I'm going through something similar. I worked and worked for the past seven months to get healthier, more active, more fit . . . to lose weight, to get my surgery. I've had some great victories on the scale and off - - lost sixty pounds so far, able to walk two miles and it doesn't kill me, got my surgery, fitting clothes that have been sitting in the back of my closet for many many years - - but now I struggle making good choices almost daily. I actually shoved a slice of cold pizza in my mouth the other day and swallowed before thinking. (It was only one slice, not a whole large pizza and it made me really sick, but what was I thinking?!?!?! I wasn't.)

Friends tell me to be kind to myself . . . that I've been through alot in the past month and that I'm bound to have bad days. But those are excuses. And I haven't even gotten to my goal like you have.

Anyway, this was supposed to be about your post, but I think I've proved the point of one of your previous posts. YOU'RE gonna be fine. Me, I'm probably not going to be able to take my own advice and I'm probably going to continue to beat myself up when I make these bad choices even though when I read your post I am immediately sympathetic and know that you're just going through a rough patch and I know that you'll be fine.

Sheesh! Why can't this be easier? Seriously. Hang in there, Tara. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

by KRIS319

First off, YES, I do believe this is normal for a lot of people. Perhaps it's that mentality of always wanting to register for the next race... because the training, the goal itself, is worth the journey. Maintenance is an area that I don't see addressed nearly as much as the weight loss process itself. And yet, probably the most critical, since most of us don't ever want to have to go through the weight loss process again! And you won't.

So here we are... How does TARA feel about these things? How do YOU feel about your eating? How does your body feel? How do you feel mentally? Do you need a reason to beat yourself up? How do your clothes fit? How does the scale respond? (and how do you feel about those results?) Are you ready to maintain?

You ARE at the next stage in this journey. What you have achieved partly defines the new you. But you're not done. Even if you never want to lose another ounce, your relationship with food, your body, with Tara, has changed forever.

You ARE as strong as we think you are. No matter if there are fries involved. Fries don't define you. Your fearless heart (and sometimes the fear too!) defines you. And I, for one, am convinced that you are a warrior.

by MUDDYMAMA

I like what Kat wrote. I think that's why I'm moving so slow in this process. I never deprived myself and never told myself anything was off limits. But now it's at a crucial spot. Almost everything i eat has an impact on either the way I feel or what I see on the scale. It's a balance I am struggling to find, and don't know if I was ready to go all in. Kat suggested I go in maintenance for a while. I did, had some of the unmentionable foods, and still maintained. Don't beat yourself up, just figure out if you need a time out before going full force again.

by HAPPYNSWEET77CHI

I've been where you are for a while. I gained a little back but seem to be maintaining at a slightly heavier weight than I was a few months back. My clothes fit and I feel I look good so I'm not real motivated to go for that lower number on the scale because it takes a lot of discipline to get there. My food choices, um, sometimes good, sometimes not so much. I don't really like that aspect because foremost, I want to be healthy. But I'm also a realist. I can't live the rest of my life without sweets or Mexican food or the occasion chicken finger basket from the local pub. It seems like I've found a weight I can maintain without too much effort or too much deprivation. If this is where my body wants to be, so be it. Maybe you're just finding where you're body wants to be too. And that may be a slightly higher weight than you originally planned for yourself.

by GOODKAT

That is rough :-( I find myself making excuses as of late and I do not know why. I think it's the time period. I think my mind cannot believe I am still on this journey and I think it thought I would have gave up so long ago. Now it's like every little temptation is met with an excuse. It was easier for me in the beginning and lately it seems harder as the longer I am on the journey.

by ANIMOSUS777