ROCKINCHICK's CalorieKing blog
Monday, Jan 22 2007 - I am losing control
View ROCKINCHICK's food & exercise for this day
Oh how I want to throttle my 17yr old right now. He moved out last summer and in with my oldest and his wife. Well he is in independent studies and works full time. Since going to the orientation in December for school he has not showed up once for his weekly appointment with his teacher. The teacher called me today and is going to pull his work permit. I cannot locate my son except in the evenings at his job. He rarely stays at his brothers but at a friend from work. I called that number but only got voice mail. I want so much to be in control of this situation and tell him what he should be doing but I know I have to let go. He does not make wise choices and it hurts. I often cry thinking about the mistakes I made with him raising him while I was a severe drug addict. Now he is drinking, smoking and smoking pot. I started drinking at 9, cigs at 11 and pot at 12. I always hoped my kids never followed in my footsteps but it looks like it is going that way.
Have to run. My walking partner just showed up.
Ok back now.
I just want to eat over this crap. I was imagining going down to the coffee shop and buying my favorite pastry and eating it all. That would be a waste of 700 calories. But I want to squash these feelings of wanting to control his every move and make him live right. What is wrong with me? There is also the dreaded candy dish that has been in this office since I stated a year and half ago that is filled everyday with chocolate. She can't put in hard candies or others things like the fat free fruity candies. It's all chocolate all the time. I'm losing it bad.
have to focus on work
Have to run. My walking partner just showed up.
Ok back now.
I just want to eat over this crap. I was imagining going down to the coffee shop and buying my favorite pastry and eating it all. That would be a waste of 700 calories. But I want to squash these feelings of wanting to control his every move and make him live right. What is wrong with me? There is also the dreaded candy dish that has been in this office since I stated a year and half ago that is filled everyday with chocolate. She can't put in hard candies or others things like the fat free fruity candies. It's all chocolate all the time. I'm losing it bad.
have to focus on work
6 comments so far.
6.
a decade ago
Stay strong and be brave. Punishing yourself with food will only make you feel worse. If you get a hold of him can you sit down and talk to him heart to heart. Tell him your thoughts and worries and that you really care for him and his well-being. I hope things work out for you and him.
:heart1:
by MA
5.
a decade ago
I'll pray for him. I have 18 and 20 year old sons and it is so tough when they are - adults? They aren't really children and they aren't really adults, but they want to make all their own decisions without the $ to pay their own bills. It is tough. Praying...
:angel4:
by SJ1320
4.
a decade ago
PS. I just thought of a quote: "Though no one can go back and make a new start, anyone can start from now, and make a brand new ending." Carl Bard.
by BUN201
3.
a decade ago
Sadly, this is a situation out of your control and hopefully, he will also follow your example of getting it all together. His work permit will be pulled and he will be forced to make some better decisions as nobody will be able to afford to let him stay for free.
:bang:
:kiss:
Step back , if you can ( I know this is not an easy thing to do) but perhaps without a job he will ask to come back home and then you will say Yes , but with some ground rules he must follow. Sometimes I think tough love is harder on us then it is the kids.
My heart goes out to you. It is so hard to watch our kids make such huge mistakes, but there is only so much we can do as parents. BIG SIGH!!!!
Fight hard with those chocolates. Perhaps you can bring in a dollar bag of hard candies for you and add some to the dish. Arm yourself with some healthy snacks at work. Fight this trigger.....
by LUCKYDUCK2
2.
a decade ago
Hang in there. I will pray for your son. He's almost an adult now, so pretty much out of your control, anyway. Do you have a support group you can go to - I think it would help you with your feelings in a constructive way, rather than give in to the emotional eating, which will only make you feel worse!
:love: I think someone coughed all over those candies - they're completely contaminated with some deadly virus.
by BUN201
1.
a decade ago
Focus and breathe. Take care and oh think of all the bugs on that chocolate. Cooties. Courage to you.
by PEANUT