Today being Mothers Day I just wanted to reflect on my past year raising my children.

My oldest son (married with child) is growing up alot. He is learning and has been listening to me and his father on the little things in life. I want him to be more successful than I could have been. I am glad he isn't on drugs like I was at his age. His daughter my beautiful granddaughter is very special. My dil is starting to have more respect for us when she comes over. It warms my heart.
My younger (17) son still is not living at home since leaving last summer after a heated argument with me and his dad. He is an angry young man that needs to grow up, get an education and find employment. He is staying with his grandpa but that is avery dysfuntional situation. I am sure you all remember my fil gives his money away to a younger chick that I know is swindling him. He hasn't stopped and my son sees all this going on every day. I pray he comes home and has learned life is not so easy when you don't listen and learn.
My daughter (15) is learning to be more risky about things. She wants cell phones and ipods and more freedom but... She got an ipod for her birthday in April. 18 days later it was stolen from her locker at school after we told her not to take it to school. She keeps wanting a cell phone. Every other cellphone she had she was very secretive about the text messaging. Just Friday she played hookie from school and she and her friend stayed here all day swimming and stuff. We are not happy with the direction she is heading. She yells at me contantly. I do not know how to handle her except walk away. I am not very strong and I am afraid I will lose her if I am too harsh with her. I get scared.
I don't think I am deserving of being called a mom on Mother's Day. I haven't done a very good job. My kids all did come over yesterday though and did do something that I wanted done as a gift for Mom's day so I know they love me I just hate going through the rough times and it seems that the rough times are more than the pleasurable times.

On the better side. I have lost 12.2 pounds since joining WW. It is slow but we all know that is better for me. It is so much easier for me to use the points system than to configure the calories, fats, protiens carbs and so you. You know what I am talking about.

I have had a bad neck problem for a while. The dr diagnosed it as Chronic Cervicalgia (pain in the neck). We have had fun with that around here for a while. But I saw a spine specialist Thursday cause the popping and pain won't go away even with pain reliever. so he gave me 8 little shots of lidocaine in the neck region to make the muscles not be so tense and painful. Then he gave me three scripts for pain management. Robaxin, Motin 800 and Vicodin. I am doing way better until we can get the OK for an MRI. I just still can't stand hearing and feeling the popping that happens contantly with every move of my neck.

God is great. I thank God for the life I have and from pulling me from the pits of hell from my addiction. If he hadn't grabbed hold of me I don't know where I would be today.

Happy Mothers Day everyone.