ROCKMOM2's CalorieKing blog
Friday, Feb 20 2009 - misc ramblings...
View ROCKMOM2's food & exercise for this day
2/20 - 149.2
The scale is toying with me. There is no way these numbers will hold, I have a real pattern for the last 6 months and it doesnt include a drop like this. My goal for this month was 151.0. I feel pretty sure I can hold that number until Mondays weigh in for the February Challenge, but not so sure it will hold much after that time will tell.
I did read the Silver Level info on plateaus yesterday and decided that must be what has been happening. It said you can be in a plateau for 4-5 weeks and then your body decides to let go of some of the weight again my fingers are crossed, but time will tell. With a goal of 139...todays weight puts me 10 lbs away from goal. I feel like I look good, but have been struggling with some personal stuff that is really putting in perspective how we THINK something will make us happy when really we need to ACCEPT ourselves in all parts of our journey. I am married to a wonderful man that has always accepted me as I am, for that I am thankful. The perfectionist family that I was raised in gave me some inner child issues that are very difficult for me to deal with right now.
Sorry to ramble, but THANK YOU ALL for being there and showing you care. I have days right now when I am not sure I am worthy I guess everyone has those days. I am working very hard to find my joy and peace therapist assures me that ALL of us had these at one time, I just lost mine somewhere along the way and this journey to find it is much more difficult than I ever expected it to be.
=======taken from the Runners Forum (Feb 17th) a couple days after my run last weekend wanted to have it here for my reference:
I had a GREAT time at my benchmark race for the running group. I actually did really well. Came in 2nd out of 14 from my Saturday morning group. The overall race had 140 people and I came in 48th out of 140. My pace was a 12:03/min.mile avg for 2 miles. Actual time for 2 miles - 24:07. During the race I walked the first 6.5 minutes and then ran the rest of the race. Mind you, I am NOT a fast runner, but that means I ran 17 minutes without stopping YEAH! I was supposed to finish walking but couldnt help myself. I could see the finish line and decided not to stop running. : )
Thanks for listening I needed to clear my thoughts and this helps.
The scale is toying with me. There is no way these numbers will hold, I have a real pattern for the last 6 months and it doesnt include a drop like this. My goal for this month was 151.0. I feel pretty sure I can hold that number until Mondays weigh in for the February Challenge, but not so sure it will hold much after that time will tell.
I did read the Silver Level info on plateaus yesterday and decided that must be what has been happening. It said you can be in a plateau for 4-5 weeks and then your body decides to let go of some of the weight again my fingers are crossed, but time will tell. With a goal of 139...todays weight puts me 10 lbs away from goal. I feel like I look good, but have been struggling with some personal stuff that is really putting in perspective how we THINK something will make us happy when really we need to ACCEPT ourselves in all parts of our journey. I am married to a wonderful man that has always accepted me as I am, for that I am thankful. The perfectionist family that I was raised in gave me some inner child issues that are very difficult for me to deal with right now.
Sorry to ramble, but THANK YOU ALL for being there and showing you care. I have days right now when I am not sure I am worthy I guess everyone has those days. I am working very hard to find my joy and peace therapist assures me that ALL of us had these at one time, I just lost mine somewhere along the way and this journey to find it is much more difficult than I ever expected it to be.
=======taken from the Runners Forum (Feb 17th) a couple days after my run last weekend wanted to have it here for my reference:
I had a GREAT time at my benchmark race for the running group. I actually did really well. Came in 2nd out of 14 from my Saturday morning group. The overall race had 140 people and I came in 48th out of 140. My pace was a 12:03/min.mile avg for 2 miles. Actual time for 2 miles - 24:07. During the race I walked the first 6.5 minutes and then ran the rest of the race. Mind you, I am NOT a fast runner, but that means I ran 17 minutes without stopping YEAH! I was supposed to finish walking but couldnt help myself. I could see the finish line and decided not to stop running. : )
Thanks for listening I needed to clear my thoughts and this helps.
11 comments so far.
11.
a decade ago
ah, a big drop . i vote you take the money and RUN! great job with your run
:teeth1:
by NEIMANMARXIST
10.
a decade ago
by BUN201
9.
a decade ago
Hey Vickikins! Great job in February...you're getting so close to your goal weight....very exciting stuff. Glad you're still running and getting stronger and stronger....how is your son doing with CK? I'm just taking it one day at a time and I really think it's getting easier. I still have a long way to go but I'm really enjoying feeling healthier every day! Take care sweet thing!
:)
Fran
by ICANDOIT7
8.
a decade ago
I am so jealous! I would love to have a running group. I give you a TON of credit for finding one and signing up. I think I would be petrified to find out that I am not as good a runner as I thought.//And whooo hoo to running across the finish line!!!
by NMA5632
7.
a decade ago
Vicki [IMG]http://www.livinglively.com/clipart/new2009/grouphug.gif[/IMG] You are such a great friend to so many. You are so worthy of self-love and acceptance. Take a moment to visualize yourself as a little girl. How would you treat that little girl? I'm sure you would heap love and hugs on her-- so do that now!
by SUNNYM145
6.
a decade ago
Regardless of the silly scale, you are really doing amazing things these days, Vicki! I am so impressed and have missed your blogs! Congratulations on the loss, congratulations on the running. Keep searching for consistency in joy and peace, and enjoy them in moments when you find them.
:kiss:
by BREADANDROSES
5.
a decade ago
by LUROX
4.
a decade ago
Sending these thoughts to Vicki and Bunny. I'll have to post on her blog to. A few years ago, before my move to GA, I started to understand and deal with my perfectionism. For me a lot had to do with being viewed a certain way by myself, friends, and family who had known me forever. They saw Theresa as the one who gets everything in order and that caused me to hold myself to that standard. but it's not fair to do that because we don't allow ourselves a break to not be perfect. So, learned from a seminar that there is no right or wrong just what we choose. kind of like do you like chocolate or vanilla ice cream. if i like chocolate and you like vanilla it doesn't mean either of us is wrong, just that we like different ice cream. So to the perfectionist we have to learn there is no wrong. That shows up for me with Time. I hate to be late. My daughter and husband are ok with arriving 30 seconds before the start time. Ive had to learn that although it is uncomfortable for me to arrive 30 seconds before, things usually turn out ok. So its not wrong to arrive 30 minutes or 30 seconds before the important thing is to enjoy the experience. So part of your weight loss journey may include looking at things you hadnt thought were involved like perfectionism, control, etc. Im finding being healthy is a small part to what Im meant to learn on this journey.
Bunny, please dont give up because you may be close to a breakthrough. I usually feel most uncomfortable when Im at the point of breaking ground on movement out of my comfort zone. I hope this helps. I cant imagine you not being in the forum.
Take care.
by KAMISMOM
3.
a decade ago
Thank you for sharing on my blog, Vicki -- you gave me a lot to think about. Acceptance of yourself is one of the hardest things when you have "core beliefs" about yourself that you're unworthy. One of the girls on Dietribe suffered from this and I could see it so easily (and identify with it) --- no matter how much weight she lost - and she lost every week --and one week lost the most --she was never happy, always criticized herself. She also had walls up and didn't want to be seen as "weak". I've had such abuse issues in my life that those walls became my protection, and my weight is part of it. I haven't been losing weight - what I've been doing here on CK is do well for a while and then quit--turn my back on --??perceived FAILURE. I woke up this a.m. thinking about not participating in the February challenge anymore because I'm such a 'LOSER"...ashamed of my lack of progress. I keep sabatoging myself every evening and what I'm telling myself is "I don't care"....but I do care. I think what I don't care about is --?? that perfectionism. I really don't know how to turn it around, Vicki. One of the 12 steps of recovery from addiction is "letting go and letting God" .... I think I need to do that. To be honest, I don't know what else to do. They say with an eating disorder that the activities around eating/not eating - whatever it involves - has to do with this activity being the area where we can exert control in our lives. --using food in a way other than what it's meant to be. I think I'm doing that. Anyway, sorry for the long post.
:love:
by BUN201
2.
a decade ago
by JUSTPATTI
1.
a decade ago
I too am working on acceptance. I have been conducting this little thought experiment for about a year. I keep reminding myself that "nothing is wrong. Everything's ok. Everything's right." And my premise is that thinking something is wrong, is just a bad habit. In any case, I am more peaceful.
Your before and after pictures look like two different people. Amazing. Good luck!
by SIMKATHY