Last night, I made one of my many mistakes that I still am trying to conquer. I ate only a salad for dinner. This seems like it would be good, but the problem is that I didn't eat enough calories. Then, when Erik and I had an argument and I got upset and anxious, I wasn't just my usual nervous hungry. I was REALLY hungry. I told myself to stay in control. I could feel it slip. I could feel the excitement/rush of saying,"I'm going to eat. I don't care. I'm just hungry."

BUT, here's the good news- I took a breath. And I decided what to eat. I actually COUNTED the calories in my snack at midnight. I was able to control my cracker and cheese addiction! I counted out a serving. I got one cheese stick. I new I hadn't eaten all my calories, so when I was still hungry. I got a little more. But, I was able to stop. I was satisfied. I didn't eat until I felt sick. VICTORY!

You have to take what you can get and rejoice in the small things.

Another small victory- Yesterday, while counseling a patient on weight loss, I actually realized I could put my money where my mouth was. I have a patient who is quite overweight (yeah, like me). She has been her whole life.(sound familiar?) SHe has never been a "normal" weight. (Uh huh.) She is in the process of getting a lapband procedure approved. She has tried EVERY diet and medication.(Yep.)

Anyway- was counseling her on the fact that lap-band still requires behavior changes. Without them, it can end up being just another failed diet attempt. I have had patients not loose any weight, or only 10-20 pounds. MAJOR bummer. So, I was encouraging her to get into a routine of exercise and watching her diet. Her response was, " Yes, my plan is to get the surgery and then I'll get serious about regular exercise and watch my diet."

My response,"No. You are going to start now. That is your OLD way of thinking. Do it now. Not then. Every pound you loose before the surgery will make you able to tolerate the surgery better and get you closer to the goal." The really cool thing is that I felt a "click" in my brain. It was like I really got it and my thinking had changed also. She also seemed to get it. She really had a look like she got it.

Also, she said she had a membership at the same gym I use. Guess what? I told her I better see her there. I told her I had recently joined and was going 4-5 times a week. It felt so good to be able to say something to patient and have mean something. To be able to stand by it and be an example. Wow, is this what skinny healthy doctors feel like all the time? No wonder some of them are so arrogant.

Anyway. It felt really good to know that I took a small step toward one of my most important goals.