OK, so I don't write in here often enough. I know that. Maybe if it was public I would more. If I knew people were reading it. I'll think about that......

Anyway, so summer is supposed to be when you are more active, doing more stuff and having an easier time loosing weight. Really?? Because I am really having a hard time. Mainly because we have been spending a lot of time w/ my family, back and forth on the weekends for various reasons starting w/ my 20 yr reunion. It seems like no matter how hard I plan, I end up reverting to bad eating when I'm there. It doesn't help that everyone in my family has issues w/ food and is overweight. But, 2 of the 3 weekends I've been there, I got up early at least one of the days and walked the 2 miles up and back(1mile each way) It really helps to keep the exercise going. What a difference that makes in the calories and weight.

Last week, July 4th, was a total blow out binge of the size I have not had in the last 5 months. Where was my head. Why did I buy those candy bars??? I didn't need them for the movie since we went to one of those places where they serve food. Then, I ended up eating them all, almost all, by myself. I told myself I was buying them for everyone to share, but not one of us needs it! All of us- my husband and best friend and cousins, need to loose weight. Here I am supposed to be the smart one about health, the DOCTOR, and I am buying nasty candy, eating french fries, fried fish, pizza, hamburgers, ice cream, etc.

The real question is: Why is it so much easier at home and when I am at work? What is the difference in my mindset?? I know for one thing, I try to be an example at work. I am trying really hard to do practice what I preach. But, it is really hard. I have always had guilt about eating and I tend to have issues w/ hiding it. Like driving through the drive through and ordering 2 drinks to look like the other burger I got is for a friend. But, when I am w/ my family they all eat terribly, so I just feel free to let loose. Why, Why, Why?!?!?!?

I am going there again this weekend and I am determined to do better. I am smart enough to know that I shouldn't set myself up by promising to be perfect. I know that the first slip up and I'll blow off the whole weekend. I haven't been recording my stuff because I have been unable to use my laptop there and then when I get home I am behind 3 days and so I don't do anything.

So--- The goals are:
1. No COKE. None. Nada. Nothing. Diet only. This one is hard as I am truly an addict and when I am "home" it is annoying and I look to it for comfort. But, it is totally doable as I don't ever slip up at home- hardly ever anyway.
2. No binging. IF I get the urge to indulge I will control the portion and I will not blow the whole weekend off. I will eat healthy as I possibly can, choose healthiest choices available.
3. I will exercise somehow at least one of the days.

That is doable. I am sure of it. We'll see how I do.