I've been out of the habit of being online. I have continued to exercise and watch my diet. I've even lost weight, but I haven't been good about keeping my food log and that makes me feel like I am not being successful even though the scale is showing lower numbers. I am so proud of myself for seeing a Trainer yesterday. My regular trainer is out sick for 8 weeks. It would have been so easy to just wait until she came back. but my exercise has been less and less consistent and I knew I was slipping. So I set up a session w/ a new trainer. Gulp. A guy. That's scary for me and brings back all the fat girl insecurities. but, he was nice and I think I actually surprised him. Especially when I was able to do 10 push ups. Real ones.

He worked me very hard and a few times I felt like those people on biggest loser who cry and look like they are dying. I had never felt like stopping before w/ my previous trainer. There have been times when I wanted to stop and I was hurting but never times where I thought I literally could not finish. With him, I even said, "I can't." To which he just smiled and said, "Yes you can. now finish it." I did. He even took me outside and made me run. I honestly can't remember the last time I did that. I didn't do very well, but I got around the little 2 block course running and walking intermittently. I can't run more than 30 -45 seconds. It is pathetic. But, when I could have said you're crazy or made an excuse that I can't run w/o using my inhaler or any number of reasons, I pushed myself and did it anyway. I am very proud of that. I had planned to only fo 1x a week like before, but now I am thinking I may do twice and I may even continue w/ him when my other trainer comes back.

This morning I am super sore, but happy.