TICTOC's CalorieKing blog
Thursday, Oct 4 2007 - Holding on...
View TICTOC's food & exercise for this day
Okay so like I wasn't going to reveal this in my blog but I think I may have to if I plan on sticking with this program for the long term because it affects my weight loss.
I have pretty bad marital problems that I am working so hard to overcome and get through. Divorce is not an option but things are pretty rough. When I go through things I don't eat well and if I do eat I have a hard time keeping it down. So I haven't been around much lately.
I have been upset all day... just crying because I really felt like my marriage was over. I was done and I felt defeated by the enemy.
But alas, I called the one person that I met in my new church and low and behold despite being in church she at one point was on the verge of divorce. She knew everything I was feeling and that I was at the point of no return. It seemed like everything I told her I was dealing with, she had dealt with.
It was comforting to know that another christian could be real about life's trials... so often you get people that don't really seem to understand what you are going through. It confirmed that I was lead to the right church after looking for a new church home for the past two years.
We talked for an hour and for the first time today I felt like there was still hope. She told me how the enemy always knows the one major thing that will deter you from God and mines is my husband and my marriage. She referred back to Job- a book that I have read a bit and I never did quite understand why he went through what he did. but she told me that Job's biggest fear was sickeness and losing his family. So that is where Satan attacked.
It was actually the 2nd time I had heard that- that Satan attacks the area you are most vulnerable in... but she said when Satan's attacks get worse and worse that is when your blessing is about to happen. I told her that I had heard that before and she said to me- But have you ever passed the test? The test of ignoring my husband when he says hurtful things and realizing that it is the enemy and not him. Changing my attitude when arguments arise and withstanding the wiles of the enemy. I have never done that. I let go of any Christianity I have and I go blow for blow, toe to toe with my husband and I feed into the enemies attack.
So I haven't eaten much today and I throw up the little that I did eat. Not intentionally of course... but because of the crying I get sick on the stomach and it all comes back up...
so there, I put it out there for everyone... I hope that this gets to the right readers to be intecessors of prayers for me. I want to win my marriage back from satan. I have let him have the reigns for over 10 years in my relationship with my husband. It's time to fight back. I pray that God gives me the strength and that this war ends faster than it has been in existence.
I have pretty bad marital problems that I am working so hard to overcome and get through. Divorce is not an option but things are pretty rough. When I go through things I don't eat well and if I do eat I have a hard time keeping it down. So I haven't been around much lately.
I have been upset all day... just crying because I really felt like my marriage was over. I was done and I felt defeated by the enemy.
But alas, I called the one person that I met in my new church and low and behold despite being in church she at one point was on the verge of divorce. She knew everything I was feeling and that I was at the point of no return. It seemed like everything I told her I was dealing with, she had dealt with.
It was comforting to know that another christian could be real about life's trials... so often you get people that don't really seem to understand what you are going through. It confirmed that I was lead to the right church after looking for a new church home for the past two years.
We talked for an hour and for the first time today I felt like there was still hope. She told me how the enemy always knows the one major thing that will deter you from God and mines is my husband and my marriage. She referred back to Job- a book that I have read a bit and I never did quite understand why he went through what he did. but she told me that Job's biggest fear was sickeness and losing his family. So that is where Satan attacked.
It was actually the 2nd time I had heard that- that Satan attacks the area you are most vulnerable in... but she said when Satan's attacks get worse and worse that is when your blessing is about to happen. I told her that I had heard that before and she said to me- But have you ever passed the test? The test of ignoring my husband when he says hurtful things and realizing that it is the enemy and not him. Changing my attitude when arguments arise and withstanding the wiles of the enemy. I have never done that. I let go of any Christianity I have and I go blow for blow, toe to toe with my husband and I feed into the enemies attack.
So I haven't eaten much today and I throw up the little that I did eat. Not intentionally of course... but because of the crying I get sick on the stomach and it all comes back up...
so there, I put it out there for everyone... I hope that this gets to the right readers to be intecessors of prayers for me. I want to win my marriage back from satan. I have let him have the reigns for over 10 years in my relationship with my husband. It's time to fight back. I pray that God gives me the strength and that this war ends faster than it has been in existence.
5 comments so far.
5.
a decade ago
Ahhhh, the ever not so loving satan attack...hard to walk through such a valley but how sweet it is when the Father guides you to a safer place. Remember, burdens and weary work together to distract from our Father. God made you and He will carry you; He will sustain you and He will rescue you and your husband from the bondage. Just hold on and pray, God will answer your prayers. If you ever need to talk just drop me a line and we can exchange phone numbers. Take care GF and I will keep you and your marriage in my prayers.
by JAXS
4.
a decade ago
Stress is the ultimate enemy when it comes to eating, isn't it. The positive thing here?? You realize it, which gives you the potential to control it!
:thumbu2: I am sorry to hear you are having marital problems - I'm twice divorced (for completely different reasons) & totally understand how awful a relationship can make you feel when things aren't going well. Oh - and you are not alone when it comes to vommitting when you are feeling emotionally crappy. I've had it happen to me on more then one occasion.... again, the good thing is that by realizing this happens to you sometimes you gain the knowlege & power to try to get it under control (by eating smaller portions or different foods) & I'm not sure if I'm one of the 'right' readers, but I'll have a prayer for you anyway 
:wink2: 
:kiss:
by WOLFENA
3.
a decade ago
I've had trouble in my marriage, I think we all do to some degree. I think you're headed in the right direction by writing it down and finding a friend. I hope you can work things out soon and find happiness in your relationship with your husband.
by HTAMALE
2.
a decade ago
I hope things start to get better with your husband. I've heard things get worse before they get better. I agree with that statement. Keep praying and don't keep things inside. Keep talking to someone whether its your new friend at home or in CK. Letting it out helps so much and it helps you be calmer and perhaps you can find a new way to deal with your husband. We all go through some tough times but that is good because it only makes us stronger. You will be in my prayers.
by HELLSTAR
1.
a decade ago
How brave you are to write about your troubles and how fortunate that you found a friend who gave you a new perspective on how to made a positive change in yourself. I sincerely hope you and your husband can work out your problems. I will keep you in my thoughts.
by SHADEAU