I am so ticked off today and I am doing my best to be sure that I am not overreacting. But I had my weigh in today and there were several issues.

Problem No. 1: I was being weighed at 5 p.m. in the evening when my normal weigh-in is at 7 A.M.

Problem No. 2: I have been bloated for the last two days and I have no idea why and I haven't "went" to the bathroom for about three days. I was so gassey last night that I had cramps and felt like I was 8 months pregnant. I took some Mylanta, didn't work. I bought some Gas X- nothing happened. I took a laxative TWICE in the last two days- and NO BOWEL MOVEMENT!

Problem No. 3: I had just eaten 2 Fiber One bars AND drink some water AND took two more Gas X in hopes that I would go to the bathroom or at least let a GOOD ONE RIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

So YOU TELL ME- Why is it possible that it would APPEAR that I had not only NOT lost any weight but had GAINED 2 pounds when I went to see my dietician today.

But this is the killer of all killers. WHY did she talk to me and say -
"So tell me why you aren't losing any weight. And out of the six days you didn't record is it possible that you OVER ATE... ALTHOUGH I do see a pattern of CONSISTENT undereating. Also, do you think your calories are too high? Because often times when you aren't losing weight its because your calories should be lower... "

LOWER THAN WHAT???? WHAT ABOUT THE STARVATION EFFECT? DOES THAT NOT APPLY? I MEAN I AM EATING LESS! YOU JUST SAID THAT!

Okay am I stupid or is she? If you see that I am undereating and eating less than my calories
then why would I need to lower my calories even more to lose weight? Apparently something
else is wrong.

She couldn't handle my frustration so she called in the doctor that is monitoring my meds because she said- "Your clearly frustrated".

YOU THINK?!

I can barely type my frustration out... but after talking to the doctor she left... obviously annoyed with my "excuses" but I didn't care. I told them for real they could take the program and shove it. I didn't need someone to be critical of me with all of the factors above.

Then she had the nerve to ask me- well why do you think you have stayed at 250 for a month... I told her that I don't even know when I actually hit 250 but our last appointment was 9/25 and I was 254 then. So if I lost 4 pounds in about 4 weeks- what's the problem BIMBO?

I can handle criticism and suggestions for changes I need to make- but at least look at all factors. Don't put me on the scale and it reads 256 in the late evening and I am constipated and bloated and you tell me I gained weight. I was just so frustrated.

So anyway... she left and I continued to express my frustrations to the clinic doctor and he said that the only thing he feels I really need to focus on is drinking more fluids. I simply don't get enough in. He even told me that he would prefer that I drink juice if I had too just to get more fluids in. He said he believes that is why I am bloated and constipated because I don't have enough fluids to push my food through. When I say I am constipated I don't mean I am trying to go and I can't. I mean it is just building up in my stomach and my stomach is just poking out... as if it isnt' even going through my intestines. I usually only get about 32 ounces of fluid per day.... sometimes a little more but on average I get about 32 ounces. he said that if I increased my fluid it would help push through my food as well as wash some things out through my pee. I only pee about four times a day so he said that is definitely not enough fluid everyday.

He also explained to me that the calorie guideline of 1650 was based on a lot of details about my height and weight and that I could trust it but my weight loss is based on that 1650 calorie intake AND walking as close to 10000 steps per day as possible. He said the steps would actually put me at the right calorie intake to lose weight and he doesn't want me to eat back any exercise calories. He also asked me how many times had I used the bathroom that day and I told him only once that I could remember but it may have been twice. He said that is a sign that I am not drinking enough fluids.

so he told me to email him my food dairy on next Thursday so he could review it and give me some tips and to not be so frustrated. I felt better after talking to him... but I was still really pissed at the dietician. I am considering asking for a different one but I don't want to seem like as soon as I get criticism I can't handle it. It was the way she did it... which I can't really express in this blog... but she actually said sarcastically to me- well how do you want me to help you if you feel you have the answers.

I can't even go there because it would enrage me again.

By the way, I finally pooped...and lost three whole pounds... now isn't that something...

So anyway, out of my frustration- I must learn.
I plan to hit my 1650 goal instead of 1760 each day and to get my walking in our workouts somehow daily. If I can't make the gym then I am going to work hard to get those 10000 steps. It would be so cool if when I went back I had lost 10 pounds- and logically she would have to admit that my TRUE weight today was not reflected. Even the doctor told me not to count today!

OH AND HOW COULD I FORGET! I LOST ANOTHER INCH IN MY WAIST!!!!! SO I AM DOWN A TOTAL OF SIX INCHES IN MY WAIST!@

SHE HAD SOME NERVE TODAY! ARGGHHH!