MSTEECHUR's Story
From Flabulous to Fabulous
And yes, I do think I'm fabulous. Why? Because I am my own best friend and biggest cheerleader. Oh I know, that sounds vain. It's not vanity, it's self preservation.
For years I was my own worst enemy and it got me low self esteem, obesity, the self worth of a gnat, and misery. Not that I was miserable. I was happy, but I had periods of just hating myself so much that it brought on misery.
In 2001 I told someone in my life, "I am a fat woman. I will probably always be a fat woman. Anyone who can't accept that, isn't someone I need in my life.
Then I had an epiphany. I was asking her to accept me exactly the way I was. Yet I was not willing to do the same for myself. I did not love me the way I was.
So now you're thinking, "And that's when she started to lose weight, and then she lost weight, and now she's skinny, and they all lived happily ever after."
Not quite. In fact, it wasn't until over a year later that I even began my weight loss journey!
Instead I decided right then and there that I was going to learn to love myself exactly the way I was. I worked on self esteem. I read books on feeling good about yourself at any size. I surfed over to the Fat Acceptance sights and looked at pictures of beautiful women who were body confident, even if society tells them they shouldn't be. I stopped ALL negative self talk...that took time, but I did it. In December of 2001 I was happy with who I was and all my flabulousity.
Then one day I was sitting in the mall (probably eating, who am I fooling...I still had weight issues). A teeny little teenager floated by and I caught the old me thinking, "Man, I'd do anything to be that thin."
Suddenly another voice that I hadn't heard before said, in a sardonic tone, "Yeah, anything but eat right and exercise."
Whoa! Now what was that all about?
As time went on the voice continued. "If you love yourself so much, why do you treat your body like a garbage can?"
"If you're such a wonderful person, why are you killing yourself with food?"
"See that guy over there? The diabetic who weighs 400 pounds? Honey, there but for the grace of God go you in a few years."
Over the first few weeks of December I couldn't get that voice out of my head. I ended that year feeling happy with who I was but not very happy with how I was treating my body.
So I decided the voice was right. It wasn't about looking good in a swimsuit (a feat that even at 120 I will NEVER pull off), or losing weight for a class reunion, or anything like that. It was about "What are you doing to ensure that you have a healthy, happy, long life?" In January 2002 I started researching different diet programs and found Weight Watchers. A friend had lost weight on it and it sounded like what I needed; something that would help me manage my food without telling me what to do.
So in February of 2002 I signed up with Weight Watchers online. My first weigh in was 222 pounds (although I believe I was at least 10-15 pounds heavier six months previous). I dedicated myself to just three months. If I couldn't live with the program, after three months I would find something else. But up to that point I would do it exactly as directed and see what happened.
In December of 2002 I met my WWers goal of 130 pounds. I continued to lose and met my personal goal of 120 in January of 2003. Why was Weight Watchers different? For the same reason Calorie King is different. It gave me guidelines and boundaries, but not hard and fast rules. There was no list of "must eats" or "can't eats". Those things I decided for myself.
I am still on WWer and I also journal on CK in order to watch my nutritional balances. I probably will journal every day until they plant me under a tree somewhere because it is what I need to do to maintain my weight.
And since January 2003? What have I done with my new life?
-Run four marathons
-Competed in four triathlons
-Run a NUMBER of road races (even won in my age group twice)
-Was an online success story for Weight Watchers
-Become a coach for a running program
-Have been featured in two magazines for my weight loss story
-Made daily exercise an integral part of my life
In short, I've become a whole new person!
And yes, I do think I'm fabulous. Why? Because I am my own best friend and biggest cheerleader. Oh I know, that sounds vain. It's not vanity, it's self preservation.
For years I was my own worst enemy and it got me low self esteem, obesity, the self worth of a gnat, and misery. Not that I was miserable. I was happy, but I had periods of just hating myself so much that it brought on misery.
In 2001 I told someone in my life, "I am a fat woman. I will probably always be a fat woman. Anyone who can't accept that, isn't someone I need in my life.
Then I had an epiphany. I was asking her to accept me exactly the way I was. Yet I was not willing to do the same for myself. I did not love me the way I was.
So now you're thinking, "And that's when she started to lose weight, and then she lost weight, and now she's skinny, and they all lived happily ever after."
Not quite. In fact, it wasn't until over a year later that I even began my weight loss journey!
Instead I decided right then and there that I was going to learn to love myself exactly the way I was. I worked on self esteem. I read books on feeling good about yourself at any size. I surfed over to the Fat Acceptance sights and looked at pictures of beautiful women who were body confident, even if society tells them they shouldn't be. I stopped ALL negative self talk...that took time, but I did it. In December of 2001 I was happy with who I was and all my flabulousity.
Then one day I was sitting in the mall (probably eating, who am I fooling...I still had weight issues). A teeny little teenager floated by and I caught the old me thinking, "Man, I'd do anything to be that thin."
Suddenly another voice that I hadn't heard before said, in a sardonic tone, "Yeah, anything but eat right and exercise."
Whoa! Now what was that all about?
As time went on the voice continued. "If you love yourself so much, why do you treat your body like a garbage can?"
"If you're such a wonderful person, why are you killing yourself with food?"
"See that guy over there? The diabetic who weighs 400 pounds? Honey, there but for the grace of God go you in a few years."
Over the first few weeks of December I couldn't get that voice out of my head. I ended that year feeling happy with who I was but not very happy with how I was treating my body.
So I decided the voice was right. It wasn't about looking good in a swimsuit (a feat that even at 120 I will NEVER pull off), or losing weight for a class reunion, or anything like that. It was about "What are you doing to ensure that you have a healthy, happy, long life?" In January 2002 I started researching different diet programs and found Weight Watchers. A friend had lost weight on it and it sounded like what I needed; something that would help me manage my food without telling me what to do.
So in February of 2002 I signed up with Weight Watchers online. My first weigh in was 222 pounds (although I believe I was at least 10-15 pounds heavier six months previous). I dedicated myself to just three months. If I couldn't live with the program, after three months I would find something else. But up to that point I would do it exactly as directed and see what happened.
In December of 2002 I met my WWers goal of 130 pounds. I continued to lose and met my personal goal of 120 in January of 2003. Why was Weight Watchers different? For the same reason Calorie King is different. It gave me guidelines and boundaries, but not hard and fast rules. There was no list of "must eats" or "can't eats". Those things I decided for myself.
I am still on WWer and I also journal on CK in order to watch my nutritional balances. I probably will journal every day until they plant me under a tree somewhere because it is what I need to do to maintain my weight.
And since January 2003? What have I done with my new life?
-Run four marathons
-Competed in four triathlons
-Run a NUMBER of road races (even won in my age group twice)
-Was an online success story for Weight Watchers
-Become a coach for a running program
-Have been featured in two magazines for my weight loss story
-Made daily exercise an integral part of my life
In short, I've become a whole new person!