Well, in efforts to amp up my calories, I ate fish and duck yesterday. The duck was quite fatty and I probably shouldn't have eaten it but, at the end of a long work day (which included riding my bike almost 2 hours to different jobs) I knew I would have NO energy to ride home if I didn't eat something first.

And the duck was calling my name. That's ok, my net calories weren't over 1,400 so it's not too much damage. It will just make up for eating too little on the previous days.

I weigh in tomorrow!

By the way, on a non-dietary note, I told him tonight that I would rather post-pone the wedding (date not yet set, although he has tight time-line in his head, I'm sure) than to have it in China where none of my family can come. He's singaporean, we work and met eachother here in Shanghai and although he is wonderfully understanding, I don't think he's used to not getting his way when it seems very reasonable to him.

He responded, "well this is a big surprise and I am going to need some time to process this information. Don't worry, I am not angry at you, it's just unexpected and I need some time." This is the answer of a man who has read and memorized more relationship books than me. I do appreciate the effort.

Sigh. I just don't think he realizes how important this is to me. I feel like this relationship track towards marriage is a series of items on a checklist for him in some aspects. For me I am very emotionally involved with each step, as ANY woman would be.

He doesn't think it strange at all that he might be meeting my family WITHOUT me (if I am truly restricted from leaving China due to this case about the fire). These are not simply things on a checklist but things that must be done and decided on together. I feel frustrated that he seems to have made all these plans with little imput from me and that we don't seem to be on the same page with this.

I must talk to him about this. It is very stressful for me because I don't like confrontation and I don't like disapointing him. but... I must.