Well, I tried to start over in June and then a bunch of family drama de-railed me. Just can't deal with all that drama. I'm sad all the time and can't sleep. I gain another 8 lbs because I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Bad choice I'm afraid. God bless my husband, who has been so supportive, and my friend, Amy. They have helped me see that if I can't take care of myself, then no one gets taken care of. So after much consideration, I started seeing a psychychiatrist to help me deal with all this drama, help me emotionally, and someone to guide me. I know I'm dealing some depression now.

I'm starting to exercise to help deal with that, I took all weekend off from work and slept, played my video game and watched my favorite TV shows all weekend. So basically allowed myself to grieve all weekend due to the drama. I feel so much better and rested. I'm not going to let this drama effect me, or at least a little as possible. All I can do is control myself and I'm going to take this time to focus on me and take care of myself for a change.

So I will take one day at a time and each moment at a time. I will work on making better decisions for myself. So tired of being fat but it's my own fault, now I just have to take responsibility for myself and try to do better.