Now here's something I never expected I'd have to deal with, jealously and envy. Always having been the fat chick or the underachiever, I never had to learn the skills to deal with emotions of others who hate or resent me "just because I'm beautiful" or just because I can do something cool (run, strength, laugh, dance) and they can't do it as well as I. I'm for damn sure not the best, just better than average, at some things, and everyone can make that particular claim to fame about themselves.

My new out look on life could be interrupted as conceit, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit in the corner any more. Not that I am, beautiful, of course, it's just that now I've achieved my goals, I have also achieved a level of self-satisfaction and confidence in my choices and I guess that shows.

I don't need to be a cover model. Its called "pride in appearance" and "being the best that I can be". Anyone, any shape, any size can achieve it. So why do those who have not reached that achievement need to knock me off my pedestal?

I'm proud of who I am and the journey it took to get there; with the help and support of my friends and family. Then WHAM, I get hit upside the head, blind sided. Some members of that same support group now point out every little flaw that is uncorrectable. Every little undesirable personalty trait that would take years of psycho-therapy to correct. So What? I'm not perfect, don't need to be... and guess what nay-sayers? Neither are you.

I guess that is one advantage getting older has given me. I just don't give a F_ck anymore. If you don't like me, or what I've become, I'll move on. I've learned to be comfortable with myself and most importantly, I like me.

Life is about progression and evolving (just ask the caveman). I'm not sitting on the sidelines anymore. I won't become a drunken loud mouth making a spectacle of myself just so you can be comfortable with your drunken, fool self. and I'm for damn sure not chasing after any man but the one I'm with, the one who loves me now, loved me then and will love me in the future, whatever that future holds.

So to those who feel threatened by my new found happiness, F_ck off. I'm done trying to make everyone happy. Now it's all about me.