I had a great night at the gym. I had the whole place to myself and it's nice because I can sing out loud if I want to or yell or breathe hard and nobody will think I'm completely loopy.

I'm worried about this belly fat that is hanging around and the diastasis recti (separated stomach muscles) that is there. I'm trying to do curls but my stomach muscles are super weak and so are my back muscles. I've been doing ab curls on a weight machine (90 pounds 20-25 reps, 3 sets) I don't know if it is helping yet, and I'm not sure how to tell if it does. I don't think it will hurt to try.

I have a membership to an uber small gym in an uber small town so it's not like I have access to a professional trainer. I have thought about going to a larger gym but it's further away and I go at night, and I wouldn't get home until 11 pm. I could do it in the summer when there's no school but that won't help when it's time for school again.

I also need patience. Who knows how my body will transform once I loose more weight. Really, truly lack of patience is the worst fault I can have at this point. I could be my own worst enemy.

I've kind of set goals here and there so that I have something to look forward too. Right now I'm REALLY looking forward to the -30 mark (I'm already at -29) because that puts me at 1/4 way to my goal weight of 135 pounds. Every -30 is another 1/4 mark. When I hit 220 I'll only have that last 20 until "One-der Land" That makes me really happy.

It won't belong until I can go bike riding...I really can't wait for that.

One day, I'm going to be pretty again.