Monday, April 6th 2009

I had a good job interview today. Unfortunately the lady said she'd be doing interviews all week for this one position. But I felt good about how I did so I guess that's all I can ask for.

I saw my therapist today. He's on vacation next week, so he's giving me two weeks to get my act together before he tries to send me back to CA. I see my dietitian tomorrow so hopefully she'll give me a couple weeks too before she fires me as a client.

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Sunday, April 5th 2009

All of the gyms in Provo are closed Sunday, so I drove 45 minutes out of my may to get to a gym because I couldn't handle not working out for a day. How sad is that?

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Saturday, April 4th 2009

So...I'm 2 weeks into my "choose life" plan, which was great in theory, but I seem to be doing nothing more than self-destructing. I've not been eating enough, and spending WAY too many hours at the gym. My dietitian and therapist are not going to be happy with me next week. I need to start caring more about my future than how much of a calorie deficit I have each day.

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Friday, April 3rd 2009

I feel like a hamster on a wheel. I feel so frantic and the more frantic I feel the more I restrict and exercise and the more I restrict and exercise the more frantic I feel and it's a very viscious cycle that I'm really having a hard time getting out of.

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Thursday, April 2nd 2009

Courage
Superchick

I told another lie today
And I got through this day
No one saw through my games
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well"
"I ate before I came"

Then someone tells me how good I look
and for a moment
For a moment I am happy
But when I'm alone
No one hears me cry

I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be okay
...

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