TGIF People! So yesterday I wrote about honesty and wasn’t sure how much of it was going to make the cut today but I decided if I’m going to write it I have to live it…so here goes, even though some of it may be embarrassing and borderline TMI. The men may want to stop reading here…last chance…OK…NO judging now…

I went to the gynecologist yesterday (I haven’t been in 7 years) and of course because I’m a new patient I got lost thanks to my GPS. Thankfully I had downloaded and completed all the new patient forms saving myself 15-20 minutes and allowing time for them to still see me. The doctor who, I will now refer to as “Dr. S” read over my forms and began the internal, not the most comfortable thing to begin with, she kept asking if I was sure that only my ovaries and tubes were removed? She said she couldn’t find my uterus or cervix and would have to send me for an internal ultra sound to verify. I was like they’re there probably just shriveled up like raisins I mean it has been 10 years and yes I’m sure they really aren’t. Oh and it gets better, she is sending me for a bone density test and mammogram as I thought she would but because I have IBS, have had endometriosis, my Aunt (Mom’s sister) has colon polyps and my sister has had cancer cells I get to also go for a colonoscopy! Dr.S said that many women who have had endometriosis that are also diagnosed with IBS are misdiagnosed and it could actually be in my colon. I did a little research on this when I got home and its true, plus it can also grow on the kidneys, liver and pancreas…here is a link if you would like to read more… http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/endometriosis.html

I do realize the colonoscopy is routine and many are done every day; it just wasn’t what I was expecting and my head was still spinning from the “I can’t find your uterus and cervix” statement. I’m positive it was just my tubes and ovaries, I was back to work in two weeks, everyone else I know who had the full hysterectomy took 6 weeks to recover. Reveal day is June 30th, that’s when I go for the ultrasound and find out. If they are gone, the bright side is I don’t have to worry about uterine cancer but I cant help but feel like my previous Dr., “Dr M.” lied to me. He wasn’t my regular Dr. at the time but he did the surgery and I stayed with him until he retired two years later. There’s a whole other long story behind this we don’t have time for. But in respect to taking responsibility, I wouldn’t be in this situation if I had continued to go even after “Dr. M” closed his practice and retired.

So now as if this wasn’t traumatizing enough I went Bra shopping afterward at what I affectionately call the “Fat Chick Store”, Layne Bryant. I was wearing one of theirs so I though I was golden but no. I was in that store for three and a half fricken hours trying on every bra before the associate Ellen noticed I was frustrated and offered to do a fitting. So I agreed, I mean why not, I already had two women (Dr. S and nurse Cratchet) staring at my lower half, why not show a perfect stranger my breast! So get this, I went from a 40 to a 38 but I went from a C to a DD…WTF!!! I bet it’s from the chest press, probably reshaping the girls! Elle has really been pushing me hard there so as I lose weight they don’t sag…can’t have saggy tata’s at 43 she says.

So now by the time I left the Fat Chick Store I was wiped, but I ran next door to Babies R’ Us, grab a few bottles of formula for my daughter and was on my way. It was now 9:40pm, I hadn’t eaten dinner yet and I was STARVING!!! I pulled out my phone went to the CK database and found I needed 620 calories…I was tired and caved; I had a McDonald’s (med) Vanilla milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry at 660 calories! I logged it and drank it while taking the 35 minute drive home. I felt like the whole time, I actually felt it lying in my stomach, if I didn’t need the calories I probably would have forced myself to vomit because of how sick it made me feel. I decided to take some Pepto and go to bed.

This morning another surprise…I am now at 216.8 lbs …I must have burned calories last night fighting with all those bras! I can't wait to tell Elle tonight while she is kicking my ass!

Below is the quote that spoke to me today…

“Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity and fear of others. Never decide to do nothing just because you can only do little. Do what you can. You would be surprised at what “little” acts have done for our world."

~ ~ Steve Maraboli