Yesterday was a very weird day. The day started out great; I was excited, on track, well rested, happy and felt all around positive until one 40 minute work phone call changed my entire demeanor. I was on the phone with a co-worker (who is also the boss’s 25yr old child) who was upset about why certain customers couldn’t see the current information on our website and was blaming our hosting company. I tried to explain how it all works and that it could be those particular customer’s browser settings because we can all see the changes. The child became very rude, condescending, argumentative, and still not understanding, began telling me how I should be doing my job. I took a deep breath, I felt my head jerk to the left and instantly I was pulled back to where I was emotionally; before I started this journey, and the BEAST came out. Still keeping enough of my consciousness to not be disrespectful...I put the child in its place.

It felt like a black tidal wave of negative emotions flooded my body, taking over and draining all positivity. After the phone call was over, I took a step back and sort of quietly realized WOW… I really let the child get under my skin and gave the kid that power to upset me. I was wiped out, amazed at how much energy it took to deal with a negative person and to be negative. This is what I used to be like…really??? I’ve always tried to think of myself as a positive person but I went back and maybe because I have changed (or trying to) I can see it clearer now? I don’t know but I didn’t like it or the way I felt at all.

(And just to clear up the thing about the boss’s kid; I’ve known them since they were 10yrs old, always respectful, kind and polite BUT since the becoming an employee the kid is different than the person we all knew. All of us are trying to be patient with the kid as well…I just reached my breaking point first. So into HR I went to tell my side of things…they are fully aware of the issues we have all been having but their hands are tied.)

Anyway, because of the above stress found myself on auto pilot in the break room eating a couple pieces of chocolate, (2 fun size snickers and 2 mini Milky Way) 268 calories for 4 small pieces of chocolates, then the guilt set in and I once again found myself in familiar waters of negativity, feeling guilty and normally I would eat more to self medicate or maybe as punishment. I walked away, logged my calories and made sure I told Elle; I felt like I had to be responsible to another person for what I had done. So I acknowledged my actions, owned it, accounted for it and moved on from it. For me that was huge progress.

I used to affectionately refer to Tuesday’s as “Fat Tuesday” because I love to watch the Biggest Looser (I love Jillian and Bob…Duvet is still growing on me) or Extreme Weight Loss with Chris Powell. My guilty pleasure. Anyway, I would take a huge bowl of ice cream and plop my FAT ASS down on the couch, dig in and watch. I only have water now, I can see the true transformations, emotionally and physically. I can relate to the participants in many ways and now I am truly inspired by them.

OK that’s it for the old business, on to new business. I had my weigh-in and re-measure with Elle last night…I LOST 7.5 inches!!! YAY ME!!! So TRX will actually start next week because it will be the start of a new month and I’m still so excited. I am changing physically, emotionally and mentally…It feels GREAT!


The quote that inspired me today...


“Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.” ~ ~ Carol Welch


Happy Hump day!