I’m off to a pretty crappy day, got home late last night and was too tired to prep my meals so I went to bed with a plan to get up earlier this am to do it but forgot to set an earlier alarm on my phone back on, so I overslept and well had to scramble. I went to my backup foods; cheerios, yogurt, fruit and will get a salad for lunch then figure out dinner on my lunch hour.

My work day is not going any better, there are some people that we allow to get under our skin and I am no exception. My particular pest brings nothing but negativity, deflecting, finger pointing and creates such a storm that higher up’s don’t see that he does absolutely nothing!!! He thinks up new projects that he will supposedly head up but as soon as any real work is involved, he all of a sudden will say he is too busy or involve others, he won’t do something but will blame others for his dropping the ball and then tell them they need to take on the project.

So basically he makes it look like he is creating and getting things done when in reality all he is doing is coming up with a concept and then making others who are already over taxed with the other numerous projects he bailed on, take yet another one of ‘his” pet projects on!!! Nothing will ever be done about it, because of who he is related to!!! I have to just accept it, but it’s hard when I’m being asked by my supervisors why I’m spending so much time on things I normally don’t get that involved with and I have to tell them because “he” told me he needed my help and that the project took priority over everything else and the boss confirmed it. The problem is no one is communicating with my managers about what I’m being pulled in on and when I update them, they are so feed up with “him”, they are just like whatever and it comes back to bite me anyway. I lost 3 hours yesterday being dragged into a meeting I really didn’t need to be at and then another two hours this morning discussing changes he thought up over night!!!

It’s a no win situation and I’ve worked 10-14 hour days here for the past 11 years (salaried so no OT) and I’m not doing it anymore…I do what I can and everything else must wait until tomorrow. They do not like my new attitude of “taking care of me first”, they are used to the pushover and she’s long gone…I think 11 years is enough! That said I still feel guilty walking out the door at 4:30 most day…old habits are hard to break no matter how mad we are right.

OK, now that I’ve vented I feel a little better…sorry about that and thanks for being my sounding board.

My weight is still at 209.3 so I guess holding is better than climbing. I know I have to be patient but seriously it’s getting old and tiring. I’m still well within reach of my summer goal I posted on the forum, which is to be less than 200 lbs by the time summer is over (when the kids go back to school the first week in Sept.). This is still doable I do have 40 days to drop 9 lbs 4oz…I still have a shot!

My back is really acting up today, I’ve heard a bunch of clicking from various joints including my spine today…it’s very disturbing. I plan on getting to the gym tonight to at least do the bike. I want to try the circuit Elle wrote up for me tonight or Saturday since we did both sessions already this week and I won’t see her again until Tuesday.

So although it may not sound very positive it is very relative to how I’m feeling right now at this very moment…doubting because of my limitations but trying to convince myself it is possible.

“Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.” ~ Ralph Marston

May we all reach our goals for today and if not still believe in ourselves tomorrow

Have a great day!