It's 3:30 Sunday morning, due to the end of daylight savings time my body thinks it's 4:30 am which is still too early to be up any day of the week but my insomnia is in full swing this week. Sice I was a little girl, 10 is my earliest recollection, I've had episodes of insomnia. So I guess that's also when I really started to lay awake and listen to my surroundings, the quiet inside, or maybe the sound of a cat playing with a toy, my childhood dogs breathing or the one who ran in her sleep. I also began listening to what's outside and developed an appreciation for the sound the wind made as it roared against the house, the rain sometimes soundi g like bacon cooking in a hot pan, the quiet beauty of snow falling. I began listening to nature and finding a comforting peace in it that would eventually lull me back to slumberland. Right now the wind sounds like the ocean waves breaking on the beach at night, which is a little Erie since the last time it sounded like this was during hurricane sandy. Maybe it's the nor'easter the jersey has been hit with since yesterday; I haven't followed the weather channel since yesterday morning so I'm not sure when it's suppossed to pass.

Anyway, yesterday was a great day! I made a huge pot of turkey chili from scratch, packed with tomatoes, peppers, onions, turkey, kidney beans and black beans, and spices, simmered low and slow for 4 hours to really marry the flavors...it was delicious! Today I will be rolling the chili into whole wheat gluten free fajita wraps for lunch with a little reduced fat Monterey jack cheese, a nice healthy 330 calorie lunch. Yes I know exactly how many calories per ounce of chili because I added up the nutrition value of all the ingredients for the batch of chili, weighed the entire batch and then broke it down per ounce...i weigh the chili I put into the fajita, the fajita and cheese and well I know what I'm eating. I only had to breakit down once, because I follow a recipe there isn't much variation, so really no need to break it down every time. The only time I do is on the occasion that I have to add an extra can of fire roasted tomatoes, sometimes the chili just absorbs to much of the juices. It really hit the spot yesterday, and I like it spicy, not too hot but spicy enough that it makes your forehead just sweat a little.

The thing I enjoyed the most was cooking while my grandson say in the high chair eating his lunch, it reminded me of when his momma was his age. He is such a trip, he's really getting so big. She was coming through the door yesterfay morning and he saw me, smiled, pointed at me and said "gamma" it was so cute. He was talking up a storm yesterday, granted most of the time only he knew what he was saying but he talked to me like I was supposed to know too. We played all day, even my husband stayed home all day yesterday; usually he goes to his dad's and then maybe to his friends for a few hours to hang with the guys. He works so hard all week and takes care of his handicapped dad so I encourage him to do something for himself on the weekends; maybe a motorcycle ride, maybe it's watching a game with his friends or just taking a nap, something for himself. So yesterday he decided to stay home and play with the Grandbaby since we only had him for 6 hours, it was a blast. The latest thing is one of us on all fours chasing him around the coffee table while the other sits by the gated doorway and says hurry He/she is going to get you and waits for him to run into our laps with excitement when he gets away from his chaser. He was so tired yesterday he fell asleep in my daughters car before she hit the traffic light down the raid. Five months ago I wouldn't have had the energy or been able to crawl on my hands and knees cause of my weight...it hurt to bend my knees fully or to put pressure on them like that. So much has changed from loosing the weight, I know I can really enjoy my grandson because I can move and breathe easier, I am healthier and best of all I have more energy than he does...this 44 year old Grandmom tires out the 1 year old...LOL

We did arts and crafts too, I had bought some finger paint from the craft section at Walmart and I put on rubber gloves and smear his hands then let him smear it on construction paper after I take his hand print...I do this every week...I'm making a book for my daughter that I will give her on his second birthday. He seems to love the paints, all primary colors, he squishes his fingers together and laughs with excitement then slams his hands down and rubs the all over the paper. I also put shaving cream on the tray of his high hair and let him play with it...yes I worked in daycare when my girls were small in lieu of paying for their preschool. They were socialized, I got a paycheck and had my girls with me...it was a win win. Anyway, I love my time with the Grandbaby, he's so darn cute, yesterday he was wearing the light brown Carhart jacket we bought him, dark blue jeans, a dark blue thermal with a character like moose head and his gray converse sneakers...his blonde hair peeking out from under the hood, his big beautiful blue eyes and his smile, those dimples, I could just eat him up. I love him so much. He is my joy, my sunshine my medicine for the soul.

Today My daughter is off and wants to spend time with her son, she's been working two jobs, yesterday was her last day at the part time job. She works so hard and is such a good mommy, I tell her all the time how proud of her I am. So I hVe the day to myself and I think I'm going to go visit a friend who's up in Toms River that I just don't get to see as much as I would like. It will be nice, well once I get there and out of the rain. I'll also do laundry today and clean the house this morning. I'm on an organizing kick, I just feel an overwhelming need to organize or reorganize everything. Maybe it's this whole taking my personal inventory thing I'm doing, that is driving the need to inventory everything. I do t know but this weight loss journey has morphed into so much more. I'm learning about myself daily and it's an u expected suprise.

Well I'm getting sleepy now so in going to try and get another hour or two of sleep...have a fantastic slow Sunday.