I went on a -900 calorie bike ride yesterday and did an hour and a half at the gym. I makes me feel good to write that. I think I am getting my confidence back that I lost over the last 3 months.

I want to do this program and today someone on PAWS gave me something to think about and I think I will do meditation later on it.

She brought about confession, and she also talked about sneaking food, taking the best for herself, leaving the the not so great for her DH....confession, accountability and truth.


This was my reply and it really really helps me put SO much into perspective:

I have this problem myself...and I don't know why.....but it seems to me the only one I am hurting is myself. I sneak food...what do I expect? That someone else is going to gain the weight? I sneak food and I don't think about what it does to those -900 calorie bike rides and the hours I do at the gym.....it becomes a complete waste of time.....so why am I even doing this if I am going to continually sneak food, and eat things that are completely counter productive to this goal i am trying to reach.....seriously why do i even HAVE a goal if I am going to sneak food, as if it doesn't really count if no one else knows about it.

The confession thing is a great analogy...because you know that hiding your sins in the confessional invalidates your confession...just the same as sneaking food invalidates your weight loss...wow...thank you for that. That is totally what I needed to hear.