2/3/2007 - i think i finally have my head in the right place now. i realized i was sabatoging myself because i resented not being able to eat what everyone else ate. half the time i didnt even LIKE what i was eating - macdonalds, wendys i HATE fast food...but i ate it cuz everyone else was and i dont like to deny myself anything. with that said i grabbed my weight watcher at home materials and re-read the ultra metabolism/ultra wellness books for motivation. i have a trainer who will give me a new weight training workout this month ( i SUCCESSFULLY completed 4 weeks of 2-3x a week lifting) i KNOW i can do this. today's workout was the stairmaster for 50 minutes - according to my hrm i burned 578 calories. whew! my goal for this week is to burn 3000 calories in 6 days - a mere 500 calories a day. tonite will be my first attempt to exercise at night instead of just sitting the entire time while working. i want to do step rebock for 10 minutes - at least 3x tonite. i can do that a watch a tv show! 10 minutes is NOTHING.