Ok I am about done with my eating for today and I splurged on my fat but was under on my calories. I have some Jelly Belly candy already accounted for and saved for later tonight. I am doing pretty well today. I am tired from working all night but I am OK. I am going to exercise tomorrow no matter what. I do not like to do Tae Bo when the hubby is around. I shut the blinds and wait until my kids take a nap. I might sneak in some step aerobics later but I am not gonna promise. I am trying really hard and I do not feel discouraged yet. I get discouraged easily and even making it a few days, is hard. I think I am ready to loose the weight. I do not miss any thing. I feel normal. I cannot wait to be thinner. I have a ton of clothes in a size smaller that I would love to wear. Its weird but I am really at peace with all of this. It's not as hard as I thought. I am tired of being in my own isolated world. I am ready to join the rest of the people in living. My mom is on vacation and she's the Queen of Yo Yo dieting. She binges for weeks and then fasts for weeks. (We can see where my unhealthy habits originate. ) She used to be really big 5'2" and 230. Recently with her fasting she's 160. She is also the diet pill queen. I am not willing to sacrifice my health to be thinner. I do not fast. My goal is to run in a marathon some day, not to be exausted from lack of food. Me and her are close but not close. She makes some really horrible decisions lately and I am almost ashamed of her because I know she could do better. She knows right and wrong, I wish she would just follow it. I was a really wild teen and I have really changed and settled down with my husband and our family. I still carry that black sheep stigma in my family but they are worse than I ever was so I am OK with that. It is funny because in my family there are so many unhealthy people. From anorexics to obese. I think its funny when they judge me about my weight without looking at their own issues. I really do not talk to any of them. I would rather be alone then be around people that make comments on my weight. Still, it would be nice to drop a few pounds before my mom comes back in town next week. I look forward to the day I go visit my family and I am the thin one. The only difference is that I will not judge them...