Good morning. I walked into a mess at work this morning, finding out that I only have 9 days to start and complete a project that normally takes 2-3 months of research, approvals, and implementation and training…YAY ME! I told them I will do my best to deliver; however, I believe the timeline is unrealistic considering the amount of information and cooperation needed from outside sources. This is where I get in trouble, I am known as our resident “gets it done” employee…when ever any department is having trouble getting information, cooperation or dealing with a difficult vendor, it is often kicked over to me to handle. Some may see this as a compliment, but because of all the years I worked whatever hours needed to get a job done, they expect it and I’m done working 12-14 days every day…once in a while is OK, but not weekly.

Of course this will impact my annual review in October and my raise next March. I feel like I’m in a bit of a no win situation, even if I do deliver, I’m not 100 confident it would be at the same level if I have the normal time span…but all I can do is my best. I’m feeling very stressed out and the urge for chocolate, so instead I took to the blog. I think the best thing to do is to break it up into mini stages, projects; maybe it won’t be so overwhelming and stressful. I will try my best but inside I’m freaking out because not only do I have this massive project but I have been recruited to coordinate and be involved with the new marketing plans/strategy. I just wont have time to do both…I will need to go talk to my two supervisors…the big boss is calling the shots and he wants me to do both. Because I’ve always been a good little soldier and taught him I will do whatever it takes, now that is true but it must be during regular work hours because I have personal commitments and unless they are actually willing to pay me OT (which they NEVER have done) then its not happening afterhours.

I feel stress in my back, neck, arms, I have a headache already and I’m starting to get anxious…I have to pull myself out of this, mentally I’m stronger now. I have more focus and seem to be more efficient since I my diet has improved, so maybe that’s enough, maybe just those two things are enough to get this done…there is so much riding on this project, how its handled, implemented and works. I feel sick to my stomach. The stress ball is growing and burning at the base of my neck. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time, I have training, the Chiro and the GI Dr., this week plus I committed to picking up my grandson after work for the next couple of weeks because my oldest daughter is starting her new job this week and the timing chain went in their second car, so her fiancé is taking the bus to\from work.

Well I better go figure out what ‘m going to do. My weight is the same 204 lbs 7 oz but I still see and feel changes to my body. I just hope I don’t gain weight from all this stress; I will need to keep a very watchful eye on my calories.

Funny I a cup of hot green tea last night and on the little tab attached to the string it said something that is so perfect for what I am dealing with today…it will be my mantra for the day…

“Don’t focus on your emotions; focus on living in your consciousness.” ~ Unknown (Yogi Tea)

This is what I’m going to try and do…wish me luck!

Hope we all reach today’s goals and set new ones for tomorrow

Have a good day!