SARAHJEAN81's CalorieKing blog
Saturday, Nov 20 2004
View SARAHJEAN81's food & exercise for this day
BACK ON TRACK!! I am back on track and eating more filling foods so I am less hungry and I have been cutting my sweets down slowly but surely. I got up to 207 and that hurt! I am back to 204 and dropping.
The less sweets I eat, it seems the less I crave them. I have been lazy about my exercise today but I am going to do it when I am done with this entry. ( Little one is busy filling his diaper and I cannot exercise till I can give him a clean one. )
Anyway, I have been hating my weight again lately. I have been feeling the way I used to when I was 266. Down on my self and such. And man have I been a crank lately!!
I am frustrated that the hubby is so thin. ( Almost too thin at 150 and 6ft.) He has to eat allot and I am the opposite watching fat and calories. He lost 90 with barely trying and now he cannot keep weight on! NO FAIR!!! He is actually kinda boney.
So now I am the only one who is fat. I am dreading going to his family's house for Christmas. I hate eating in front of thin people. And they are all VERY thin. His mom is always talking about "Oh I lost 5 pounds." She only weighed 120 at 5'5 and is now 115 after having two C sections and 4 regular deliveries. (she had 7 kids) GRR I only had 2 kids and went from 150 to 266.
I get so moody some times. I have these awful moments about yelling at his mom when she mentions her weight. Its like "B*tch try weighing what I do and then you can whine about 5 measly pounds." AWFUL I know, but I get resentful about thin people some times. No one but someone that has had weight problems knows what it is like to go through all of the misery it takes to drop this kinda weight.
It really hurts your self esteem to be fat. It really affects the way you react to the world. I cannot wait to be thin. I want to blend in again. I hate that I stand out as the only fat one in the hubby's family. I hate that my family has to comment on the rare times they see me. " Oh, she's fat like her mom. Takes after her body type."
I am tired of seeing fat as part of my identity. I just want to be me. I am sick of my weight affecting how I feel about the world.
The less sweets I eat, it seems the less I crave them. I have been lazy about my exercise today but I am going to do it when I am done with this entry. ( Little one is busy filling his diaper and I cannot exercise till I can give him a clean one. )
Anyway, I have been hating my weight again lately. I have been feeling the way I used to when I was 266. Down on my self and such. And man have I been a crank lately!!
I am frustrated that the hubby is so thin. ( Almost too thin at 150 and 6ft.) He has to eat allot and I am the opposite watching fat and calories. He lost 90 with barely trying and now he cannot keep weight on! NO FAIR!!! He is actually kinda boney.
So now I am the only one who is fat. I am dreading going to his family's house for Christmas. I hate eating in front of thin people. And they are all VERY thin. His mom is always talking about "Oh I lost 5 pounds." She only weighed 120 at 5'5 and is now 115 after having two C sections and 4 regular deliveries. (she had 7 kids) GRR I only had 2 kids and went from 150 to 266.
I get so moody some times. I have these awful moments about yelling at his mom when she mentions her weight. Its like "B*tch try weighing what I do and then you can whine about 5 measly pounds." AWFUL I know, but I get resentful about thin people some times. No one but someone that has had weight problems knows what it is like to go through all of the misery it takes to drop this kinda weight.
It really hurts your self esteem to be fat. It really affects the way you react to the world. I cannot wait to be thin. I want to blend in again. I hate that I stand out as the only fat one in the hubby's family. I hate that my family has to comment on the rare times they see me. " Oh, she's fat like her mom. Takes after her body type."
I am tired of seeing fat as part of my identity. I just want to be me. I am sick of my weight affecting how I feel about the world.
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