Yesterday I was having a conversation with the other women in my salsa troupe - one of them is taking a class right now on "Obesity and Economics" - she was talking about how fascinating it is to learn about the challenges of regulating the food industry when on one side the government needs to save money on its health care spending but on the other doesn't want to restrict economic growth in the food industry.

Anyway... she ended up talking about how the incentives arent' there for obese people to lose weight and that it can be hard to encourage them from a systemic perspective to choose the healthy path for their lives.

I had to pipe in and said "I suppose you don't know this about me, but a few years ago I lost more than 100 pounds". Their jaws literally dropped. They were so interested in my story because they have only known me to be thin and active. It is hard for them to imagine me as someone who ever wasn't active... running, cycling, swimming, practicing yoga and dancing almost every night of the week.

The woman who is taking the class told me I should give motivational talks -

I have been told this before, and brush it off... sometimes it's hard enough to motivate myself least of all any strangers.

But I found myself telling her "let me lose this extra 25 pounds I've gained before telling me that."

I realized that I have gotten even worse than I thought in terms of body shaming. It IS a huge accomplishment to have lost all the weight that I have and to have become as active as I am... completely apart from the size I currently am.

Yes, I am upset with myself that I could let so much weight creep back on... but I shouldn't invalidate those 15 initial intense months of hard work and all the time since... just because I've gained some back.

And I have done some incredible work the last two weeks... really proud of myself for being cautious every day with my calorie intake and mindful of including activity every day.

I am on the take-back... one day at a time.