he wagged his finger at me
last night
like a child
in the restaurant
as i took another taste
of his cherry pie
ala mode
with whipped cream too

that made me mad
he should know better
how that makes me feel
like a child
who can't make her own choices
the right choices
didn't he know
that i could have eaten more
but i didn't
because i knew
what i was doing

i glared in his eyes
don't do that, i said
you know i hate that
even a fake scold
is enough to hurt
enough to bring back
memories
that scar me to this day

he didn't mean it
he loves me so
i know
but i didn't need him
to make me feel
like i was out of control
when i was counting
every last drop
every last morsel
i put in my mouth

he wagged his finger at me
in jest perhaps
but enough truth
to make me feel
that he didn't trust me
like i was a child
that needed his wag
to remind me
of every last drop
every morsel
i put in my mouth

how i hated that
and him, at the moment
for not having faith
for making me hang my head in shame
for making me feel
like i should binge
and forget the whole damn thing
because i will never win

but i didn't
i was strong
and knew
that spite
would hurt me
not him
and prove he was right
that he needed to wag
his finger at me
to remind me
of every last drop
every morsel
i put in my mouth

what i need
is his love
unconditional
and his support
without doubt
and his trust
without questions
that i can do this
and succeed
because without that
i may fail

and so he said he was sorry
and hugged me
and hugged me again
because i was almost in tears
and he couldn't believe
how sad
his wag
had made me

i was kidding, he said
but i knew
half of him wasn't
he fears my failure
almost as much as
i do

but he won't do that again
a promise he will keep
because he loves me
and knows
and now understands
and believes that
i don't need his wag
to remind me
of every last drop
every morsel
i put in my mouth

i am glad
he is in my life
my love, thank you