today's inspiration came from a huge thunderstorm that passed through westchester county, new york late this afternoon. it was a violent storm with hail and incredible lightning. it should have cooled the air, but it really didn't. but it did make me think about my life and all the storms i have weathered especially when it comes to my weight. i had so many opportunities to fix myself through the years, but i never did. There was lots of thunder and lightning to warn me to seek shelter, but i guess the time was never right. That is until now. And so I am thankful to finally be in from the storm. I am glad all my friends on CK have come in from the rain too.

I hope you like it. Please enjoy and have a wonderful day (what's left of it!!)

storms

many years ago
when i was a child
i was cute
adorable
blue eyes
curly hair
a cherub
chubby cheeks
chubby legs
chubby
a storm was brewing
and i stayed outside
and played
in the rain

when i was a teen
i was heavier than most
unhappier than many
just no one knew
so i was popular
out going
smart
funny
another storm was coming
and still i stood outside
in the rain

as a young adult
i started a career
a successful career
made many friends
i was happy,
for the most part
but my weight
i struggled with it
daily
constantly
i tried everything
but never lost
enough
at least that's
what i thought
and so the storm came
and i stayed out
in the rain
again

i quit smoking
at 33
a good thing
a healthy thing
the right thing to do
but of course
i gained weight
and more weight
a real storm over head
but still
i didn’t seek
shelter from the rain

last summer
my heart
it was not well
but i didn't know
i felt pain
real pain
and
i could have died
but i didn’t
i was scared
and i knew
my time was running out
because a storm
unlike i had ever seen before
was upon me
and still
i stood out
in the damn rain
and i cannot tell you why

then april came
the one that just past
bringing her showers
drenching me
soaking me to the bone
drowning me
in torrents of despair
i was so obese
so heavy
in a place
where no one
ever wants to be
i was afraid and
i needed help
and
i desperately needed
shelter from the rain
and i knew
i had to do something

and then
the last storm
poured down on me
and woke me
from a very long sleep
and gave me the strength
to look inside
to take control
to get better
and take the steps
to lose weight
to be the best i can be
to save myself
and finally
come in from the rain.