my cousin sent me an email called "the rules of the universe." the rules are hilarious, but many of them ring with a truth we sometimes don't want to hear. i found inspiration in several of these truths, making them perfect tags for my blog. and so i offer you today's tag "it ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat." truer words were never spoken.

i’ve asked
people whether
i look fat
a thousand times before
and now i laugh,
because what could
they possibly have said
to a person wearing my size
how petite you are today?

what words
did i think i would hear?
what compliment fished for
did i expect them to say?
no, you don’t look fat?
how can you even think that?
yes, that’s what i wanted to hear

but deep down
well, maybe not so deep
i knew the truth all along
but i chose to ignore
the view from behind
really, any view i saw

who was i kidding
not even myself
because
there was no way
to possibly ignore
the button about to pop
the waist cinched so tight
that i could hardly breath
how uncomfortable
i really felt
in anything i put on
and i mean anything

i couldn’t tie my shoes
because bending over
became a chore
elastic waist bands
became my best friend
while the booth
in the diner
became my worse enemy
embarrassed,
yes i really was

i stopped flying
i don’t have to explain why
i started to avoid stairs
at all costs
and circle a parking lot
until i could park
right outside a door
and i had the nerve
to ask
if i looked fat
in what i was wearing?
that was the least
of my problems!

so now i don’t ask
how i look anymore
i know the answer well
i’m so aware of my size
and how i look
i don’t need to
hear another lie
because i know
i really know
it ain’t the jeans
that make
my butt look fat
honey,
it’s just the way it is

but i'm working hard
to change my reality
from jeans too tight
to trim and firm
from out of breath
to run a mile
from "do i look fat"
to "are these too big"

and someday soon
i will know
that my butt
looks mighty fine
and the jeans
won’t be so tight
and i’ll be proud
in whatever i wear
and i won’t need to ask...


because you’ll notice
right away