my niece
is getting married
this weekend
and i am happy
for her
but i could be happier
my parents
won't be there
it's too hard
for my dad
and my mom
she's barely aware
so it makes
me sad
that they are missing
this day
like so many others

my niece
she doesn't
show warmth
towards my mom
and dad
and that makes me sad too
her closeness
reserved for her
maternal grandparents
most of her life
wonderful people
but still
there should have been
room for more

but my parents
they weren't always present
they chose
to be alone
because of pain
emotional
and physical too
kept them away
withdrawn
for a very long time
especially my mother
and now
the price is paid
on a wedding day
that they can't share

but, i promise
it doesn't mean
they don't care
marisa, i promise
it doesn't mean
they don't love
and most of all
it doesn't mean
grandpa won't cry today,
because he will
and grandma will too
because if she knew
what she doesn't know
she would be there
in a heartbeat.
yes, she really would

and my brother
he holds it all in
he is angrier
than anyone else
i know
because he
can't let go
of childhood pain
and has passed it on
to his children
and it shows
in everything
they do
and everything they say
or really don't say
when they leave my parents
out of their lives
just the way
my parents
did to them
or they think
they did to them

oh i am happy for
marisa
and the love
she is marrying
and i wish them
nothing
but joy
and good fortune
together
and i hope
she knows
that she is loved
by many more people
than those who
can share her day
their love
will walk down the aisle
beside her
it will be there
all around

and i will cry
because i know
this is a happy day
and my parents
can't share the moment
or many good moments
any more
so on her day
this special day
all i hold in
will well up
mixed with love
and regrets
on a day
meant for happiness
and tears