things are going well and i am happy. i finally feel like i have the "beast" under control again. hopefully this will last a lot longer than it has in the past.

i found the products the doctor uses on line at a greatly discounted cost. apparantly many doctors use this line of shakes and meal suipplements, but the products are branded with different names. my doctor's "brand" is "nutra slim" but they are sold on line as "wonder thin." since i am doing a modified program with one regular meal a day, i can purchase the supplements on line for under $40 a week. through the office the weekly price is anywhere between $60 and $75. now i am even happier to be in the program!!!! obviously the doctor makes a lot of money on the supplements, but he gets paid for the office visit through insurance plus my co-pay so he is doing just fine. i will continue weekly or bi-weekly office visits for as long as necessary. being monitored by the doctor keeps me focused and is an important factor to my success with the program,

this week i am having my metabolic rate calculated. i have always said that i burn calories like a snail, regardless of my personal level of activity. my sister, who runs and works out almost everyday has a slow metabolism too. at rest, she only burns approximately 1100 calories a day! since i am not 1/2 as fit as my sister is, i can't imagine what my rate will be. stay tuned....

i am still running around like a chicken to keep my pampered chef business going and take care of my parents. i had 2 cooking shows back to back over the weekend and my nephew's high school graduation. i managed to cover all bases though. having more energy from proper nutrition is helping. i may only be consuming 800 to 900 calories a day, but they are quality calories compared to the 3500 or so junk calories i consumed each day up until a few weeks ago.

today i am going to have a morning meal instead of a shake and see how that works. typically, i eat my regular meal for dinner. but i love breakfast so i want to try this and see if my appetite is different during the day. i have a lot of things to do with my dad today so i think this might be easier to manage. i won't have to worry about what i am going to eat while i am at my parents.

worry. i am always worried. worried about what i am going to eat. worried about my health. worried about my parents. worried about the country. worried about my business and our finances. it's a worry that's always just below the surface. i am not blatant and i don't walk around with a scowl. i am happy, out going and generally fun to be around. but the worry, it's always there. trust me, it is. i guess i am the perfect example of the tears of a clown.

i will leave you all with this:

the light within
is bright
the strength inside
is powerful
the key to success
is alway there