it's reunion weekend for me. i am looking forward to seeing a lot of old buddies. it's been 38 years since i have seen some of these folks. i am even looking forward to seeing some of the teachers. i had a great hs experience at an all girl catholic academy on long island. you would think otherwise, but they truly were the best years of my life.

my friend beth is flying in tonight. although we reconnected via email, skype and facebook several years ago, this will be the first time we have been together in 30 years. we were really good friends throughout hs and college. distance and time separated us, but the memories and camaraderie are still there -- and we had such fun!!! i am looking forward to seeing her most of all.

i am feeling really positive these days. i am looking forward to beginning my swimming lessons next week. i have a feeling this will jump start my weight loss again. i have lost just 2 pounds since 8/16. although my overall weight loss is very pleasing, it is hard to stay focused when your weight stagnates for several weeks in a row. i guess it is simply human nature. we want what we want, and we want it now.

thoughts: when i look in the mirror and i am alone i see great progress in my weight loss. my face looks thinner and my stomach is "flatter". i recognize that i am now a siize 20-22, but i am grateful to not still be squeezing into size 24s. my body image is so good when i am with my husband and alone. but then, i see photos and it changes. in a photo, i see that i am usually the biggest person in the shot. i do everything i can to stand behind and hide the worst parts of my body, but the camera doesn't lie. and well you just can't hide 100 extra pounds no matter what you do.

now what does all this mean to me? While being with thinner people, may raise my self consciousness, i believe it is the true mirror i really need to finish what i have started. you see my reflection when i am alone although real, is missing perspective. But in a photo with other people, i see my size, not just my image. i see in photos, that i can't allow myself to become too cocky and rest on my laurels so far. i have a long journey and need to remind myself daily. i can't look in the mirror and see anything more than a few pounds gone. i've made the mistake of being satisfied too soon too many times before. this realization doesn't make me feel badly, it just is. but it does help me to stay focused on this journey to someday not be the biggest person in the picture.

so i am patiently waiting for the day that my reflection in the mirror, the image in my head and the person i see in the group photo are one and the same!