LYNNABEL's Dec 2004 CalorieKing Blog
Monday, December 13th 2004
S is a good, good man. Just when I'm ready to be really sad or confused or angry with him, he shows me these flashes of pure understanding, pure mind reading. We had the beginnings of a serious conversation last night - I just knew something was bothering him and afer I opened up a conversation about finances (our finances are totally separate which is comfortable to me, but not tenable long term) by asking him a) how he is doing financially with not working and paying for all the real estate cl...Saturday, December 11th 2004
Its after dinner now - I feel better, I think. I cried for a bit and just gutted it out. I am full, but very much looking forward to a)my ice cream bar and cookies later and b)church tomorrow. Something is up with S - I don't know if its him or me. TBD.When I feel very sad or scared, I have a song I sing and it dates back to being 10 years old in Africa - its "Jesus, name above all names, blessed redemeer, glorious Lord, Emmanuel, God is with us, something something, Living Word."...
Friday, December 10th 2004
I am filled with such good will today! I think its a combination of the Season and just feeling happy. Merry Christmas, everyone! Or Happy Holidays!Wednesday, December 8th 2004
I just got this from Stephie (my sister):"Thank you for sharing with me... and I am sorry for your sadness, not because I pity, but because I know that it is so hard/impossible to quantify, manage and change. I think too, that the disproportionality of it is strange. It's those random, small things like wanting someone to call, to grab coffee with, or just hang out, that seem to create a far greater emptiness than they seem to merit.
I hope that you get to a place where you want ...
Sunday, December 5th 2004
Im a bit down, and Im not sure why. Yes, I am. Its ridiculous, but I am jealous. Envious is more accurate, I think. Its Sunday night which is always a down time for me and Im at loose ends. The Packers game was horrible, but I dont think that is bringing me down. Although, the way they played, it should be a cause for deep and abiding depression.Its been difficult doing 1300 calories the past two days. Gosh, I hope that whoever reads this when Im dead and is looking at my life (j...
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