I have a strange, fluttery feeling in my stomach, as if something big is going to happen. This feeling is very disconcerting because usually nothing big happens – but to hear my stomach – the world is falling off its axis.

I’ve been so happy the past few days or so. I love it. I’m not acknowledging the thought that it will end soon – I’m just going to enjoy being so happy. And perhaps I can resist analyzing it…maybe not. I’ll try.

Gosh, what is happening in the cosmos that would make my stomach feel this nervous? I just had a thought – is it because I haven’t felt this happy in awhile? That can’t be it. Could it?

Had a very sweet message from Kim today – love her.

I did weights last night and it went well. I feel sleek. I think I’m going to swim this evening – I’m going to do 1500.

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From Stace's journal: "...sometimes I see little mini-eras in my life that I'd like to erase. not that I'm much for regretting, but occasionally I look at pieces of my life and can be really disappointed with who I was; traces of who I am... almost like being fat was the epicenter of a systemic negative spiral." I identify with that and since I enjoy/need descriptions of my angst, this very much fits.

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I have the uber-headache to end all headaches - I got it around 2pm and its stuck. I could barely see driving home - it is still crazy strong nearly 7 hours later. Steve asked if I eating enough. I think its either a) being off b/c pills or b) emotional detrius. Needless to say, I didn't work out - and I nearly always workout through pain, so this was big.

I'm going to sleep on another issue that is brewing in my heart and mind and see how I feel tomorrow and if I need to, I will write about it then.