I copy and paste my CK journal entries into my personal journal here at home, so I feel the need to explain the amount of food, exercise, and weight related issues. In a 100 years when "they" are reading my journal and wondering why I was so obsessed with weight and calories and exercise - I need a way to remind them of CK. So, there, posterity. Consider yourself reminded.

I need to reign in my eating. I have been logging again since Sunday, which is good, although my numbers aren't incredible. I should be closer to 1600 that I am. Especially with such light exercise. I am going to weigh myself on Saturday and see how awful it is. I will be brave. I'd like to keep my cals at 1600 for ever more, amen, except for when I need to lose weight after the baby is born. Tommorrow I'll work out - weights - and Thursday is the stupid MVA fundraiser that I must attend. I'll workout Friday, and then the week will be over.

I got my hair and eyebrows done tonight - it was nice. My hair lady is very kind and just one of those good people - people you know are just plain good.

Anna called me tonight to congratulate me. It was nice to talk to her, but as always, I ended up feeling lonely and a bit resentful. Its amazing the extent to which my old college friends can hurt me without trying to. It irritates me to no end. I got a voicemail from Molly, which was very sweet, and I've emailed a bit with Missy, which is also very nice since she is due in August.

S is having coffee with a friend tonight. Its nice to have the house to myself. I wish he would get together with his friends more. I think it would be good for him.

Ripple is going up and down the stairs. Bringing toys up and taking them down. It would be funny but it worries me a bit. I know Goldens are a bit neurotic, but really. She seems happy, though. I suppose its good for her to have a project.

I would like to go to church this weekend - we haven't gone in a while because of vacation and colds. In fact, this last Sunday, we didn't get out bed until noon. Noon! That may have been why I finally started to feel better.

I think this is a fantasy many give up after their teenage years, but I still have it. I wish I lived in another time - in another era. I think I was born in the wrong time. S thinks so too. I don't have any warped, misguided idea of the past - that it is so much more romatic or "real" than our current world. I have, I think, a pretty good idea of what day to day life was like during various periods of time in various places around the world and I don't glamorize the dirt and poverty and stench and lack of hair foils and eye brow waxes. I just think that I might have been more...me than I am able to be now. I can lose myself in the idea of different times and places for hours at a time. I wish time travel were possible.