S is away for the afternoon and evening again! Do you think he read my journal? I just woke up from an extremely deep-sleep nap. The type that takes nearly as long to recover from as the nap itself took. I had very real, real-time dreams - I was dreaming about taking a nap and S's drive to his friend's house. About the neighbor using the chain saw in the backyeard. It was very strange. Very sexual too. When I am hot, I am hot since getting pregnant, and when I am not, I am NOT. I could have stayed in bed with S all day yesterday except that I was nearly throwing up all day. That's the first time the two feelings have co-existed and it was miserable.

This weekend I didn't log my food. I have had a hard time with that since getting pregnant - not that I do it consistently during the week, but I do it more than I do on the weekends. I don't feel that I have integrity by being on CK and not logging faithfully. And honestly, I am not exactly excited to advertise what I'm eating. Yes, I'm pregnant, but my body can't product the vitamins it should be geting from veggies and fruit on its own. I take a pre-natal, but I have never had such an aversion to healthy food. This morning we went out for bagels and ended up getting donuts instead - tons of donuts and pastries. That was my breakfast. Healthy.

On the upside, I did work out for 10 minutes yesterday. It was a bit frightening as even 10 minutes had me panting and ready to throw up. Even carrying laundry up and down stairs is hard. I can't believe that that is solely because I haven't worked out for the past 10 weeks - there has to be some p-factor in there too. I'm happy to admit I'm not in great shape - but not in THAT bad of shape. I'm going to try another 10 minutes today.

I've been having escape-type feelings and thoughts the last few days - the run-aways as Jo and I call them. Which is odd, because the only thing truly bothering me right now is my CWFH. I am going to ask her to lunch next week and tell her that in order to improve our working relationship, I am asking her to a) respect my work and experience and b) to work on communicating to me what needs to be communicated and doing that in a respectful, team-focuses manner. She is a horrible person, and probably not worth the effort, but I need to know that I stood up for myself and fought against being treated poorly by someone whose experience, education, and level of professionalism is far below mine. I will of course confine the disucssion to professional issues.

So - if I could, I'd take another few days "away." And be bad. And be by myself and alone and read, read, read. But, I can't and anything like that will have to wait until after the baby is here and even then might have to wait for a long time. Which is fine.

Our neighbors said they wondered if I was pregnant. What!? Can people tell? I guess my dad could always spot pregnant women. It was eery, now that I remember it - he says he could tell by the way they walked - and was often right. So, maybe my neighbors have the same gift.