I'm sitting outside on our deck with the lap top - its the first time I've used it outside and the internet signal is just fine. We have the air condiitoning on again and I swear, the smell of it makes me so sentimental for a time that wasn't very good for me. I don't understand my yearning for that time - I know some of it chemical yearning, for sure, but the rest of it? I think I remember it being more fulfilling and affirming than it was. Strange. Gets me in my I-wanna-disapear mood.

I've found some yummy NA sparkling wine that I'm enjoying. I'm sure I could get that same effect with Kool Aid and Sprite mixed together, but for some reason I really enjoy this stuff.

Ripple is chewing the leg of a piano bench beside me. We found it in a park and thought it was good "toy" for her - she loves it. She knows the direction, "Go find your toy, Ripple" and always comes back with either a real dog toy or a branch or a stick. Once she came back with mouthful of leaves when she couldn't find anything else. We laughed pretty hard.

S's sister is coming in tonight - we expected her earlier but for whatever reason she got stuck in bad traffic. I thought maybe it was Dennis-evacuation related but she started out Colorado, so I don't see how it could be.

Walnut is kicking my bladder. Or squeezing it. Or laying on it. I don't know which but this constant need to pee is getting old. I can see the appeal of urine bag right now.

So - my college friends are going to be in town next week for a wedding (the one that makes me very nervous) and they've planned an evening out in celebration of the me and the baby. I don't know how to feel about it.

I need to run for a bit but perhaps I'll write more later.