Its 1:55am. William is up for his early morning feeding. He is in his little chair eating. I'm doing what no parent should do - propping the bottle up so I can have my hands free. I make a point not to do this during the day, so I don't feel (too) guilty about it at night. Apparenlty motherhood comes with a perma-feeling of guilt.

Possible TMI to follow so beware.

Am feeling very sexual ( Patti and Jay). Isn't that interesting? I even had a sleeping orgasm last night. S is VERY interested without being pushy and it is very flattering. The thing is, I don't know quite what to decide about sex - most of the doctors online say to wait at least 4 weeks post c-section, but I'm reading tons of ancedotal stories from women who waited about 2 weeks. I think that 2 weeks and extreme gentle-ness (word?) is probably the best approach. I don't think my uterus has totally strunk back to size, which seems to be the concern. Including infection, but if a condom is used, that will help that.

We went to Kohl's today. I tried to take a nap, but Will was very restless. He ended up spitting quite a bit of food back up, so I know why now. I did actually go to the library by myself today - it was very strange. I listened to MPR and thought, "Wow - there's a world outside my house walls."

S and I watched a rebroadcast of Bill Clinton's speech here in Mpls from last week. It was wonderful. Great ideas, great stories, and what a phenomenal speaker. Truly.

Will's "spontaneous" smiles are so very precious. The range of facial expressions he goes through when he is lighly sleeping is amazing - puzzled, outraged, skeptical, joyous, amused. Its hard to believe that these are practice expressions and don't "mean" anything (this, according to everything I've read), but I say they're meaningful. To S and I, anyway!

Guess what?! I'm down about 18.5 lbs from my pre-delivery weight. I have ankles, again. They look inordinately thin to me - my ankles. I sat cross legged today - haven't done that in ages. I'm truly thankful that I'm healing so well and quickly. I have nearly full range of motion and have eliminated the Percocet totally (was down to 1/2 tab a day before), and it hasn't been two weeks yet.