I haven't journaled ( Alicia!) for a while - my days seem to full to sit down and write.

Will has changed since he and I got back from OK. I saw the change while I was there, but attributed it to too many people, etc. He is much fussier now. I imagine he's now like most babies - he was total angel for the first 2 months. I assume its a developmental thing - he's much more observant and is learing to express his preferences and they do not include laying down. So - lots of holding and walking around. I use the Baby Bjorn, but he prefers to be held. Additionally, he sleep patterns aren't getting any more predictable or longer. On New Years, he didn't sleep all day, and I I finally got him to sleep at 1am. I thought he would do a nice long stretch then, but was up at 3am and again at 6am. Then, yesterday - he feel asleep around 3:30pm and I couldn't really keep him awake for longer than 10 minutes at a time untiln 8:30 pm when I finally gave up and put him in his crib. Of course, he was awake at midnight, at 3am, and again at 6am. Its frustrating. If I thought I could see some progress in terms of length of his "long" sleep, I wouldn't mind so much when it actually happens, but he has slept only 6 hours once - the longest otherwise is 5, which is rare. Usually its a 4 hour stretch, once during the night.

He is much more interactive, now - which means lots more responsive smiles, which are, of course, precious beyond all measure. I don't mean that he is suddenly a hard baby, or unpleasant, but he has changed, and I miss my mellow little man.

I have been loving my workouts lately - I feel good and strong. Its strange because I really don't like my body where its at, but I've never felt more energized or sexy - isn't that interesting? The effectiveness of the mini-pill as birth control is being severely tested right now. I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth or overanalyze things, but if this is what being in my 30's is going to mean - I'm all for it!

I'm enjoying my maternity leave the most so far this month - I'm finally used to not going to work, I think. I am making the most of January.

We fly to AZ on Thursday, and come back on Monday. Then I'm off to Chicago the next weekend to see my girlfriends. Can't wait for that. It will be my first separation from Will, which I'm nervous about. I think I'll be okay, but I hope I don't feel SO guilty that I can't enjoy myself. After all, I'll be leaving him with his best daddy so I won't have anything to worry about.