So, career crisis of sorts. I've gotten a quasi-offer from the new company. I say quasi because although everything is telling me they want me, they a) have one more candidate to interview on 12/20, b) my salary IS going to be a bigger deal that I had thought. Luckily my references came in glowing and I think the SVP really wants me, but I am probably in competetion with a person who can't or wouldn't dream of asking for my salary and can start sooner.

So, after lots of talking with S, I am going to call the SVP, re-express my interest, ask a few more questions (that I probably wouldn't normally have to ask from a large company with a big/formal HR department - like are there annual reviews and merit increases if warranted, etc.), and check with the SVP that my assumption of discussing a true/detailed offer would happen after his interview with the other candidate.

S is so excited for me, so I'm slowly getting less concerned about compensation. Its not that it isn't important, but will the sky really fall if its basically a lateral (minus a few thou) move? No. And I'm so miserable here, which I shouldn't even write out because if this other opportunity falls through, I'm stuck here for a while.

I dreamt last night that I was in labor and that it was very easy.

We toured the birth center last night. Apparenlty I can ask for the baby to be with me afer the c-section for up to an hour before she needs the newborn procedures done. I didn't know that with Will, or I would have requested that. Think how it would have helped my utter dis-connect with Will after he was born!

I'm getting a bit panicky when I think about the c-section, which is pretty unlike me. I tend to trust doctors more than I probably should, and I love my OB, so I'm not sure why I'm so nervous.

I don't want to die.