Lynnie love, it's been 10 days. No one I know, of any age and level of self-actualization and positive-adjustment, gets used to major personal change in 10 days. No one. Give Willnut some time, and you have good advice from the mamas below. Time for Steve and Ellen, time for you and Will, then the reverse, and time all together. I can't remember if you are older than Steph or the reverse, but I'd wager that the #1 wasn't terribly enthralled when the #2 came along, and yet miraculously you both survived it and you actually really love each other. They'll all be fine, and so will you. Give yourself a break, sweetheart.

by REV

I don't have much advice. Truth be told, the early days of having Trevor are pretty much a blur of breast feeding, exhaustion, and taking care of Jacob. I know that it was really hard for Jacob to not have my attention during breastfeeding sessions, and this period of time was when Jacob and Eric became so bonded. Prior to that I was a stay at home mom who Jacob had to himself. The adjustment for all of us was hard, but I did my best to include Jacob in the things I did with Trevor. I would read Jake a book while feeding Trevor, or let Jacob help pat Trevor's back gently while he burped. I also made an effort to not jump and run every time Trevor cried. Because Jacob was put on hold so often ( "in a minute, I'm doing xyz with Trevor" ), I would say the same to Trevor when he started getting fussy ( "Trevor, you need to wait, I'm helping Jacob" ). Obviously Trevor hasd no idea what I was saying, but I felt that it made Jacob feel better because then he was the one getting the attention over the other guy. However, I am also in the same camp as Jennie. While I do my best not to have or show favoritism, I also don't believe that everything has to be equal. Some days Jacob gets more cuddle time with Mommy, sometimes Trevor does. But there are major pay offs to that, like Trevor gets to play with certain toys because he's younger and Jacob get to go over to friend's houses because he's older. I guess what I'm trying to say is: Will will be okay. I know it's heartbreaking and nerve wracking for you (I wonder daily what I am doing right now that is going to cause my children to be in therapy as adults) but pretty soon Will won't remember a time when Ellen wasn't there. Give it a month or two and the schedules and routines will seem much more normal to him. :love: Take care.

by CBL

I feel bad for Will, too, but that's just the way it is, Lynnie! Believe me, he'll be fine in no time! Make sure that he gets plenty of one-on-one time with you and Steve, but avoid the Parity Trap. I never got sucked into the vortex of "everything has to be totally equal and fair." Some days you get more attention/stuff/whatever and other days your sibling does. There is enough love for everyone and it all evens out in the end. At 21 and 18, I'm happy to report that they're happy when good things come to the other guy and they're actually very good friends. It wasn't always that way, and those times were trying. BUT THEY PASSED. :kiss:

by SCALEHO

Catching up on your journal and I must say again how incredibly happy I am for you. :love: Obviously, I have no experience with your lil' Will problem, but it seems to me that it would be a common thing. He's not used to sharing love, but he will grow to love her and develop that big brother protective heart. That I'm sure of. I've heard stories that my brother went through the same thing when I came along and now he's by far the best friend I have on this earth.

by AMYC18